five months have passed and this is what I have to say about it

It's hard to believe nearly half a year has passed since I last regaled you with my daily adventures in motherhood and wifedom and other such exciting things. Mostly I blame pregnancy. My sudden disappearance from...well, everything, happened when I got pregnant back in August or so. My energy level went from mediocre (I'm not a naturally high energy person) to non-existent right around that time. Between the nausea and the exhaustion, making sure my toddler was fed, rested, and entertained (we discovered the beauty of Netflix around this time) was all I could handle. My dear husband had to pick up the slack in nearly every way you can imagine. Thankfully, I eventually got some wonderful anti-nausea medicine that worked wonders for my nausea/vomiting! But since it has an antihistamine in it, the exhaustion was a bit worse for the wear. Even now, at the halfway point in my pregnancy, I still find myself yawning incessantly by 8:00 pm. And I only just stopped napping in the afternoons while Logan naps this week. (But of course, instead of doing some laundry or getting dinner figured out, I'm writing a blog with my spare time. Priorities.) On the positive side of pregnancy, I'm feeling a lot of kicks (though this baby is far less active than Logan was) and I can finally cook again now that raw meat doesn't make me gag. We would have found out our baby's gender this morning, but my ever frugal husband thought it best to pay for the ultrasound on next year's deductible. Very practical. Not very fun. So instead of being able to announce whether we're having a boy or a girl this time around, we are waiting for another three and a half weeks. I'm impatient.

Tonight is Parents' Night Out at our church. Four hours (though there's no chance I'll make it till 10:00 tonight) of babysitting for only $5! Needless to say, we took full advantage of the church's generosity and are having our first date night in much longer than I care to figure out. It's going to completely mess up Logan's wonderful 7 pm bedtime, but every once in a while, you just have to roll with the punches. Some people would say, "He'll sleep in tomorrow though!" and they're wrong. It doesn't matter if Logan goes to bed at 6:30 or 7:00 or 10:00... he will be up between 6:30 and 7:00 tomorrow morning. I'd bet money on it. But tomorrow is Saturday, so Travis won't be at work and Logan won't ask me all morning where Daddy is and therefore, everything is going to be OK. Travis had the whole week of Thanksgiving off, and I think it spoiled Logan just a tad. Plus, we were up in Wisconsin with Travis' side of the family for the week, so Logan was constantly surrounded by people. I don't know if toddlers' personalities change significantly over time, but for right now, Logan is beyond extroverted. He's as sweet and calm as you can imagine (mostly) when there are a bunch of people around. But leave him home alone with Mommy all. day. long!, and you're asking for a lot of tantrums and crying and frustration... and that goes for both of us at this point. I think I've gone off on a random tangent again. No big surprise there. I'm trying to catch up on five or so months of writing. Hah. Not really. I won't torture you like that.

Since I've already been talking about Logan, I'm just going to continue on that train. He is, after all, who I'm with all day and, therefore, the only person I have endless stories about. He has finally started talking. He was so focused on walking and running and climbing a while back, that talking fell to the wayside. But now, much to my enjoyment (mostly) he's saying words. Of course his first words (other than Dada) were dog, duck, down, and done. They all sounded very similar, but context clues usually helped us out. He was a bit obsessed with the "d" sound for a while. At some point he threw in Mama, but it took quite a while. I think he was holding out just to torture me. Then came rice, ball, and cheese. Then car. And now he has a ton of words. Water, light, snack, yellow, shoes, book, candy, more, noodles, ice, night-night... and while he will say dog and duck, all the other animals he knows he refers to by their sound: moo, baa, nee [neigh], me[ow], ha ha [heehaw]... and most recently, he learned "baby." :) I'm pretty sure he's going to be quite a talker once he can really talk. He already is, he just doesn't make all the sense. ;) Other than the talking, he desperately wants to take all the balls off the tree, climb everything he can [fridge, wall, crib, dresser, etc.], and play in water 24/7. Also, if I ask him, "Where's the baby?" he [sometimes] points to my much-larger-than-it-was-with-Logan-at-this-point stomach and often will kiss it. Other times he points to my chest. I haven't figured out why.

We are celebrating Christmas next Saturday with my parents and sisters. We rearranged our living room and got a pretty tree and will all enjoy our immediate family Christmas together before the huge family Christmas on the 25th. Logan is very accustomed to skyping with Mimi (my mom) nearly every weekday morning, so I'm excited to see what he thinks when she's actually here. My guess is that it will take him about five to ten minutes to warm up, and then I'll hardly see him after that. The joys of having family around!

It's just about 2:00 pm, and I'm hoping Logan has about another thirty minutes to an hour of sleep left. He recently upped his afternoon nap from a very consistent hour and a half to a wonderful two or three hour nap. It's the nicest thing he's done for me since he finally stopped nursing and started sleeping 12 hours straight at night. [Apparently I value sleep very highly. Hopefully my other child learns that quickly!]

I bought some Hershey's Kisses the other day, and I think it's time to indulge a bit. I hope you all have a very Merry Christmas!

the shifting winds of marriage

I went back and read my previous two "anniversary-lessons-learned-in-marriage" posts and have come away amazed. A bit dazed, really. Not because they were bad, but because they were so... simple. I think that's what makes marriage so crazy. You just never know what comes next. And when I wrote my two and three year post, marriage up to that point was easy. I wasn't naive enough to think it was always going to be so easy, but I was naive enough to think that I had years of blissful "our fights are few and far between" years ahead of us. But then we had a baby, and a whole new breed of arguments, hurt feelings, and frustrations reared their ugly heads. Suddenly, we weren't just here for each other: we were here for another tiny, helpless baby. And our free time was not our own. Instead of having an hour or two to read a book or watch a TV show while Travis worked in the garage or played with the dogs, we now had to consider what Logan would be doing. If he was napping, problem solved. If he wasn't... someone had to watch him. And once he got a bit older, someone had to entertain him or play with him. But after a few days or weeks of juggling Logan time and free time and cooking/cleaning/housekeeping time, it always became apparent that we hadn't spent any time together without the baby. So without further ado, here are the things I've learned in my fourth year of marriage:

1. "Couple time" is vital.
     Before we had a baby, when people asked us if we went out on dates or had "date night", we always shrugged and said, "Every night is kind of date night. Either we eat together at home or we eat together out...we don't need a special date night." Well, now I get it. Now I understand the need for a date night or just time to be together and talk about life and work and whatever else. We're still not very good about making it happen, but we see the need and we're working on it.

2. There are good and bad ways to lay out your grievances.
    You'd be amazed how many fights start because one person (ahem, me) decided to express her frustrations/feelings about something. Because instead of going to Travis in a calm, collected way and saying, "This particular thing is hurting my feelings/making me upset/making me feel inadequate/etc., can we talk about it?" I go in with accusations and condescension. He then gets defensive, which makes me more defensive--and then we're stuck in a vicious cycle. Talking things out is good: but there's a right and a wrong way to do it.

3. Just because something doesn't bother/upset you, doesn't mean it's not a valid sentiment.
    Travis doesn't like excessive clutter. To him, the house is a mess if there's too much clutter. I don't even notice the clutter. I mean, if it's getting way out of hand, sure. But in general, I figure we live here, so things are bound to get cluttered. And I have found myself telling Travis that being so uptight (which doesn't describe him at all) about clutter is silly. It's just not a big deal. But the truth is, it matters to him, so that makes it a big deal. Just like I care that the floor is swept and vacuumed daily (and mopped a couple times a week) whereas Travis doesn't even notice how gross the floor gets. (Doggie door + dogs + not enough grass outside = lots of dirt inside the house.) The same way that I don't appreciate him telling me that the floor being clean isn't a big deal, he doesn't appreciate it when I tell him clutter isn't a big deal. (And really, we need each other to keep the house from being in a shambles. Travis keeps the house less cluttered and I keep the floors clean. Yay!)

4. [Along with #3] Just because your spouse didn't do the chore you find most important, doesn't mean they didn't do something important.
    It took us months to realize that we don't always notice the little chores the other person does. While Travis is at work, I might have swept, vacuumed, mopped, wiped the kitchen counters, washed the dishes, put away the clean dishes, and reloaded the dishwasher--but he rarely noticed. What he noticed is that the living room is full of non-living room junk, my folded clothes are still piled up on the dresser instead of in the dresser, and the bathroom counter is covered by a bunch of clothes and products that I never use. So when he comes home and says, "So what exactly did you do all day?" I want to throw something at him. Something heavy. But what have I learned from this? I should try my hardest to declutter sometimes. It matters to him and he notices. And Travis has learned that just because I didn't declutter doesn't mean that I didn't do anything all day. (And that he should never ask that question unless he's actually asking, "What did you guys do today?" Notice the difference?)

5. Comparing jobs is bad.
   I did a "new mom" devotional book this year, and in one of the devotionals, the author talks about how she had a very "rose colored glasses" view of her husband's job. She imagined that he got to sit around with grown human beings having intelligent conversations, relaxing during his nice child-free lunch break, living the good life. Then he got to come home and see the kids at their best (so happy Dad's home!) for a couple hours, eat an already prepared meal, and relax for the rest of the evening once the kids were in bed. But when she finally told her husband what she thought, he let her in on a secret: his job wasn't really all that glamorous; her job was! She got to stay home with the kids and see them walk for the first time and say their first words and tell their first jokes. She got to hang out at the park or the mall or go swimming all day, every day, and never has to deal with office politics or any other work-life difficulties. The grass is always greener, huh? I learned that instead of feeling resentful that I never get to miss my child because I'm with him all. the. time., I need to be grateful that I have a wonderful husband that's willing to work all week long to provide for us. He comes home at lunch everyday to see us, always plays with Logan after work, does the bath routine before bed, and doesn't complain. And then I thought about whether I would really rather work all day instead of stay home with my baby: not in the least. I love being a stay-at-home mom, and I'm so grateful that my husband allows me to do that.

6. Avoid the car.
   Obviously this isn't really possible. But seriously, what is with all the arguing in the car?? It's amazing! Travis says he doesn't drive well (as in... he goes the wrong way all the time or forgets that red lights mean "stop until green" not "stop and then go"... those kinds of things) because I'm always talking to him and it's really hard for him to multitask: driving and listening. Hah. We do have a deal though. If we're driving in Waco (the city we live in!), going somewhere we know how to get to, and he goes the wrong way, he has to buy me Chick-fil-A. It's a win-win. If he goes the wrong way, instead of getting mad or annoyed that we get to "take the scenic route" again, I'm thrilled because I get extra Chick-fil-A. And then if I'm driving (which happens very infrequently) and I get unnecessarily angry at the other drivers on the road (minor road rage problems, don't worry about it), I have to buy him Chipotle. [In case you're confused, the only person that gets the extra fast food visit is the winner of the deal. If he goes the wrong way, I get Chick-fil-A, he doesn't. And vice versa.] It's been a good system thus far.

7. Don't get too comfortable with each other.
   This one isn't really possible and seems confusing since, you know, you're married and all. But I've noticed that the more comfortable you are with someone, the meaner you can be. [The following example is a fictional story, made up merely as an illustration.] For example, say you have guests staying at your house. One day, they decide to put some dishes away for you, but they put some of them in the wrong place. When they see you looking for the misplaced dish one day, they say, "Oh I put that in the cabinet by the stove." What would your response be? Probably, "Oh! Thanks for putting the dishes away! That was so nice of you!" Then you'd get the dish down and be on your merry way. Now pretend your husband did it. Instead of being grateful he put the dishes away, you might be a little annoyed that after how many years, he still doesn't know where the dishes go... and then you say, "Why did you put it there? The casserole dishes always go in the cabinet by the fridge! We've never put them in this cabinet. Why don't you know that yet?" Why am I so much more likely to berate and criticize my husband over anyone else? It really shouldn't be that way. And I'm hoping that I can be better about being a bit less comfortable with him.

8. Talk.
   ...especially if you're arguing/fighting/disagreeing a lot. Talk it out. For my husband--a man of very few words and not at all in touch with his feelings--talking it out isn't really his favorite thing. But if he's getting more and more frustrated about my unreasonable reactions towards him for putting the dishes in the wrong spot or bumping Logan's head into a wall/ceiling/door frame/light fixture but never tells me that I need to change how I'm expressing myself, I'm probably going to keep doing it. Maybe I should be smart enough to stay calm and not overreact--but most likely, I'm not in my smartest frame of mind when I'm upset... but if I know that he's told me that I'm upsetting him, perhaps I'll be able to tap into that part of my brain and respond with more grace and compassion. But also, if he never tells me that he's upset and I keep doing it, eventually--months or years down the road--he's going to reach a point where he no longer cares what I say or how I feel... because it seems as though I never cared about him. And that's a scary place to be.

9. Always assume your spouse has goodwill towards you.
   We learned this concept in our Love & Respect Experience devotional book. Instead of assuming that your spouse did or said something with the intent of being mean or hurtful, give them the benefit of the doubt. Assume the best of them. Assume they meant their question/comment/action in the nicest way possible. It makes a difference.

The first time I wrote an anniversary post, I just came up with some fun, silly things I learned in my first two years of marriage. Not a whole lot of depth went into it. But now, four years in, we're not "old married folks" by any means, but we've seen a new side of marriage. There's still silliness and fun and I've still never once regretted getting married--but we're better able to see how quickly things can fall apart if you don't try. So today, on our four year anniversary, we will be going out to dinner alone to get in some nice, quiet, wonderful child-free couple time. And hopefully we'll make this a bigger priority in the year--ahem, years--to come. Because we plan to be trying for a really really long time.

Also, the couple that dresses up like cows together and gets free Chick-fil-A together, stays together. [Not a proven fact, but it probably helps.] So go get your free Chick-fil-A on Tuesday. :) (That's two Chick-fil-A promotions within a week. They should totally be paying me to promote their free food days. Hah!)

the normal stuff of life

I think June 2015 marked the first month I haven't written a blog post since I started this blog. I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. But I really think so. Although I do feel like I have a reasonably good excuse... maybe. Since I last wrote at the beginning-ish of May, we have gone to South Carolina for a week and a half, to Dallas for a weekend (plus two other drives there and back), to San Antonio for a weekend, and my in-laws stayed with us for a week and a half and just left two days ago. Logan's naps have been less than consistent (to put it mildly), and the times he did nap I chose to spend that time cooking/cleaning/folding laundry WHILE watching a TV show on Netflix. Hah. That's the thing about TV shows (or movies)--you can watching them while you do something productive. You can't type a blog post while you fold laundry. Impossible. (Or at least very inefficient.) So I indulged myself. I watched a bunch of shows that are no longer airing, so at least there was a definite end point. And now I don't know what else to watch. Which, as it turns out, is a good thing. As you can see, I'm writing. And in my free time now, I work on becoming a better direct sales consultant in my humble attempt at contributing something to our finances. I can't work out of the home without racking up a huge daycare expense... so why not try working from home? And I'm selling bags--I love bags! So now I still get to see all my son's milestones, I'm making some money, I get free bags, I watch TV, I write... it all seems pretty great! [Until, of course, Logan is throwing his tenth tantrum of the afternoon and I haven't been able to do any of that because all he wants to do is be carried around and/or sit on my lap and watch the Five Little Ducks song again. But you know, perspective.]

Also since I last wrote, Logan is nearly two months older! Where does the time go? Here are his new accomplishments:

• He has mastered walking and is trying desperately to run. Falling does not deter him. 
• He now says Dada, duck, go, down, and an assortment of "one time" words that we can't get him to repeat. But he does not speak by request. He only talks if he wants to. And he's still completely incapable (or unwilling?) to say "mama." In fact, he laughs if I ask him to say it.
• He hates the word "no" and wants to do whatever we're saying "no" to even more once we say it. He even tries to run away with his contraband (so many things) and do it further away from us. He's kind of a brat. A cute, lovable brat though. 
• Whenever Sabre stands up abruptly either to go out the doggie door or follow Travis/me somewhere, Logan frantically runs/falls to a couch and holds on for dear life. Apparently the poor kid has been knocked down a few too many times. 
• This morning I asked Logan to get his ball, phone, and shoes--and he knew every single one! I had no idea! He also knows which toy is the duck in his bathtub. :)
• Logan is starting to love the dogs. His love, however, is a bit violent. He likes to whack their faces repeatedly. They don't stick around for too long. He also likes to climb over them. Sabre just lets him. Tatum panics and moves away. He also tries to give them his toys. I've been very proud of their restraint in not actually playing (ahem, biting and destroying) the toys Logan hands off. What sweet doggies!
• Logan loves testing gravity. I was warned about this... but I don't think I realized how incredibly annoying it would be. Now I know: so. annoying.

The dogs have also had quite the month. Sabre had an intestinal infection that caused some explosive diarrhea all over his crate and the wall. Travis had to clean it up (because I'm nice like that) and moved their crates outside while Sabre was on antibiotic. But then we decided we liked not having the crates inside (they're not very pretty), so we left them outside and now the dogs get to roam freely in the house. And sleep wherever they want. :) Tatum had an abscess on her stomach (most likely the result of a bug bite) and was also put on antibiotic [side note: big dogs need expensive antibiotics], but it didn't heal up, so now she's finishing up her second round and I think it's pretty much healed. Both dogs had their bi-annual comprehensive exam and first teeth cleaning. Sabre supposedly needs to be put on a special diet for his kidneys, but we're hoping there's a better option because the kidney diet dog food would cost us around $120 a month--and then we still have to buy Tatum food! But now I think the dogs are doing better (I hope!) and we'll be able to stop taking them to the vet for a little while. 

Travis and I are coming up on our fourth wedding anniversary, so hopefully I'll have a chance to do my "lessons I've learned in another year of marriage" post sometime in the next week. Gotta keep up the tradition--if not for anyone else, for me! And I've learned A LOT this year! Hah. :) So stay tuned! 

This has been an incredibly unexciting post, but sometimes, that's life. It's just normal and mundane and not all that exciting--but still wonderful. Logan is awake and talking to himself in his crib. Time to get back to mommy-ing. 

Also, July 14th is Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. And July 23rd is Free Tea Day at McAlister's. July is a good month, folks!

A Legacy of Motherhood

I've been thinking about and anticipating Mother's Day for quite a while. Now before you think I'm an incredibly self-absorbed new mom that longs to be celebrated, let me explain. Back on June 1st, my sweet, precious baby boy made me a mom. It was an incredible day. But let me be honest... I was so incredibly overwhelmed. Some moms want to hold their newborn babies right away, as soon as they've entered the world. I was fine letting the nurses weigh and measure him first. My husband and sisters got to see Logan more than I did initially, and I was OK with that. I was excited that he was finally here, but I was terrified of this tiny person. It was suddenly my full responsibility to nourish and care for this completely helpless little baby. Why hadn't I realized how much pressure this was going to be? I spent that first night in the hospital alone with Logan... and I don't know that I slept at all. There were nurses checking on both of us all the time, yet I couldn't relax. Every tiny noise he made scared the sleep right out of me.

My mom had planned to be with me for the delivery, but Logan decided to show up a week early, so she hadn't arrived yet. When she finally got here, I was an absolute mess! I was having a terrible time nursing. After five days home with me, Logan had lost more weight. I couldn't sleep at all. Travis was sleeping harder and longer than he ever had in the entire duration of our marriage, and I was running on nothing. Logan would wake up crying, hungry, but I couldn't feed him. I couldn't get him to latch on and my breasts were endlessly engorged and aching. Then my mom arrived. It was time to feed Logan and I felt close to tears at the thought of making him cry because his inept mother couldn't figure out how to nurse him. My mom went with me to my bedroom, told me lie on the bed, and she placed Logan next to me. She helped guide his head and got him to latch on in mere seconds. I was shocked! Elated, but shocked. Logan finally got a good meal!

Since that day, I've gone to my mom for numerous other new-mom-freak-out-moments. And throughout the last year, I've realized something: I've always taken my mom for granted. Oh sure, we always celebrated Mother's Day with breakfast in bed, a basket full of her favorite goodies, and lunch at a restaurant of her choosing... but I don't know that I ever stopped to think about what a mom--my mom--really does. Then I became a mom, and it rocked my world--in a good way and an exhausting way. All the things I've had to do (some willingly, others begrudgingly), my mom had to do them too. Three times over! All the endless middle of the night feedings... followed by the endless middle of the night wake ups to play... the teething accompanied by fits of screaming till those teeth cut through... the injuries (though as the most cautious kid to ever walk the earth, I think I may have give my mom a false sense of security on this one--but then she had Brittany!)... the completely reasonable tears.... the completely unreasonable tears [like wanting to drink out of a straw but not wanting the straw in the cup.. but crying because no water was coming out of the straw]... the no sleeping at nap time... the no sleeping at night time... the husband working at night and being the only parent to calm a screaming baby... and eventually being the only parent able to calm the baby down because that's what they're used to. And these are only the things I've gone through. I'm one year in! One year?? My mom is over 25 years in! She's made endless cupcakes to take to school on birthdays. She's helped plan elaborate birthday parties. She's helped with school projects about the state of Texas or Annie Oakley. She helped come up with various Storybook Day (aka Halloween) costumes--even letting us have our costumes made at a tailor! She's made countless breakfasts before school while still preparing lunch for us to take to school. She's edited more papers than I could count and run lines with me for every play I've ever been in. She's played the piano for most of my vocal performances. She's always reminded me to turn to God and trust Him in all things. She helped me through my first heartbreak and helped me plan my wedding. She's flown back to the states on more than one occasion to be with me for a big life event. She gave up a month of vacation time to help take care of my son--and me. She hardly slept; she cleaned our house; she did our laundry; she cooked our meals; and she never once complained. No matter what it's been, she's done it willingly.

There are so many attributes of my mom that I long to emulate. My mom is not a gossip. I have never once heard my mom say a mean thing about someone else or reveal something someone shared with her in confidence. My mom is not a coddler. She encourages us and supports us--but also tells us when we are in the wrong and that we need to apologize. She always helps people. Part of her job is helping new families in Bandung get settled in and enrolled in language school. And no matter what, she always answers their phone calls. On Christmas morning, in the middle of our gift opening, she received a call from one of the new families. She apologized to us for interrupting Christmas, and took the call. The family's car had broken down in the middle of nowhere (essentially) and they weren't sure what to do--and didn't have the Indonesian language skills to communicate well. She made numerous phone calls to make sure that another car with a driver would go pick them up and help get their car in the shop. On Christmas morning!

I have never had to consider what kind of mother I want to be. I have always known that I want to be just like my mom. And that, my friends, is why I've been anticipating Mother's Day. Because this year, I understand. This year, I know that motherhood is exhausting and frustrating and wonderful and fun and so much more work than I ever realized. But it's also so rewarding. And I can assure you that through every single mom-moment I have, especially the ones where I feel overwhelmed and exhausted, my mom will always be there for me, because that's the kind of mom she is. So thank you, Mom. Thank you for being you. Happy Mother's Day!

Now I'm going to finish off with some wonderful Logan stories:

• I put Logan on my lap a couple days ago and started singing a song he likes. Just a few words into the song, he started clapping. He'd never clapped before. It was an exciting day! Hah.
• In one afternoon, Logan cried for the following reasons: I didn't let him stay outside and eat dirt after he crawled out the doggie door; I wouldn't let him play with the water in my drinking cup; I wouldn't let him pick up the dog food bowl and dump all the dog food on the floor; I checked outside the front door because the dogs were insistent that something/someone was out there, but I didn't take him outside; I didn't hold him nonstop the entire afternoon. 
• Logan follows me into the bathroom and then stands up next to me while I pee. As soon as I stand up, he tries to grab the toilet paper out of the toilet before I can flush it. He's only succeeded once: the first time. 
• If Logan sees me changing (ahem, without my shirt/bra on), all he sees is MILK. He starts panting and frantically trying to get to his (apparent) all-access buffet. [Weaning is on the horizon, folks!]
• Logan loves pasta! It doesn't matter how much food he's eaten: he will stuff his face with any kind of pasta. [Except for the Gerber graduate ravioli pick-ups. He spits those out. He'll eat dog food though. Just sayin'.]
• We let Logan watch music videos on YouTube. "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round..." He bounces.
• In a desperate attempt to keep Logan from stealing our phones, we gave him Travis's old iPod touch to play with. He loves that thing. 
• When playing with his toys, Logan is determined to always have two toys in one hand. He will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get both toys in the same hand. And he's always very proud when he succeeds. 
• Logan throws quite the temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way. Arched back, angry face, hitting mom, flopping to this back, etc. It's intense. But also a little bit funny. 

Home Renovation Junkie and Cake (And a Car!)

Last Sunday, when Travis picked Logan up from the nursery, his teacher said, "He's been walking. He takes about four steps or so. He'll probably need to move up to the next class next week." You guys. That's ridiculous! My sweet baby boy only just moved to the crawlers class. [In January. But still.] He's not ready to be with the walkers yet. Although I will say this: apparently Logan's Sunday school teacher knows better than I how much can change in just a week. On Tuesday he learned how to stand up. Not pull up. Stand up. He'd done it a couple times before, but never consistently. Then on Tuesday, it just clicked. He practiced it all day yesterday (Wednesday) and even challenged himself by trying to pick up a toy while in the standing up process. And then he takes steps. Slow, wobbly steps. He's improved quite a bit in just a week. He even had the thought to chase Sabre yesterday. He was climbing on the poor dog when Sabre finally realized he could leave. Logan tried really hard to walk after him, but only got about two steps in before he fell. [He was trying to go way too fast!] The one thing I didn't expect with all this "learning to walk" stuff was how good Logan is at catching himself. He rarely gets hurt. And I gotta say, after my first experience with baby injury blood, I'm more than happy to avoid any and all injuries. Logan doesn't stop doing something just because he got hurt once--he does it again, just differently. Pretty smart. (As I'm typing this, he's behind the glider playing with a basket of newborn socks I was pretending were already packed away, and his "baby Bible." Not important, just thought I'd let you know.)

So I started binge-watching Fixer Upper the other day. There aren't all that many episodes online, but I'm pretty good at tracking tv shows down. The show itself is wonderful. I've missed home improvement shows, and this one is probably my favorite. (It does, however, make Waco look quite a bit nicer than it actually is. Don't get me wrong; there are some nice parts of Waco. But I know the areas they're fixing up these houses...and there's a reason they don't show you the surrounding houses.) But you know what the problem with watching home improvement shows is? Suddenly your house looks completely inadequate. I mean really though. I've gone through and made a list of all the things--big and small--that I want to change in our house. Some of them have been in the talks for a while, but others are new based on my new vast knowledge of home renovation. [wink, wink] I also want to decorate. My decorating style is mostly a less-is-more philosophy for two reasons: dogs and babies. Anything that touches the floor has to be sturdy. It can't be knocked over by an 85 pound dog and it can't be pulled over by a pulling-up baby or broken by the giant kid trapped in my husband's body. For example, furniture is great! Yep. That's it. Just furniture. Nothing else. Oh! An area rug. I'm more than willing to hang things on the wall. (Which, by the way, is where our TV is now. You live and learn.) Pictures, frames, decorative accents--all great if they go on the wall. Or if they're throw pillows. I bought some inexpensive pillows recently to give our living room a bit more color... and I discovered why they didn't cost much. Already: holes. Big holes. [Because, hello, big dogs.] I found nicer, seemingly more sturdy pillows at Target but the husband said no. My second idea is to buy some sturdy [yet soft] fabric and just recover the existing cheap pillows. My only hurdle there is that I don't know how to sew. I mean, I can sew up a tiny little hole with the best of 'em. But this seems like it might be a bit out of my wheelhouse. We went shopping at this really fun antique/vintage store over by our old apartment, and they had this super cute dining room table. It had seating for six with these cushioned chairs... I would have bought it in a heartbeat. [Which is probably why Travis insisted on shopping with me. I planned to go this afternoon with the baby, but he said he wanted to go. And then vetoed my purchases. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.]

Before you think my dear husband is a penny-pinching tyrant, the reason he's been vetoing all my completely reasonable money-spending is because I convinced him to buy a new [used] car. I kept telling him we'd wait until we were pregnant again... then I said we'd wait till the end of this year... then I said we'd wait till this summer... then we bought a car now. I'm impatient, what can I say? But I was getting frustrated with squeezing myself into our Accord while holding a wiggly Logan so I could get him into his carseat. And out of his carseat. And we had to put the car in the shop for two days a few weeks ago because the AC was acting up and found ourselves without a kid-friendly car. Had the AC gone out in June or July or August, we would have been driving our little baby around in 100+ degree heat without AC because Travis's old junky car also has no AC. Anyway, my point is, I felt it was important to have more than one decent car. Coupled with my frustration at putting a baby in a sedan, we bought a beautiful Chevy Traverse. It's only three years old, has less than 50,000 miles, and is in great condition! It has an optional third row, so once our family expands a bit more (two kids more, actually), we won't have to get another car. At least, that's the hope. :) I love our new car. It's so wonderful. And it smells good.

My son will be turning one in a month and a half! That's crazy! At first I was thinking of just doing something really small. Possibly just a cake smash photo session with just us. But then I realized that turning one is a big deal and should be celebrated as such. So I think we're going to go to Dallas for the weekend, and celebrate with whatever family is around. And since it is a birthday and really, the first birthday is not so much for the baby since to him, it's the same as any other day, why not get the good foods for the adults and, most importantly, the good cake! I love cake. I really love good cake. Like the kind of cake you get at weddings. Some weddings. My wedding cake was delicious! :) So I've been researching cakes [probably too much] and now I just need to decide how much is reasonable for a cake for a one year old's birthday and where I'm going to order one. I was thinking about getting one here in Waco and taking it with us to Dallas, because why not try some local places? Obviously a big city like Dallas is going to have a ton of great [more expensive] bakeries, but why not get to know a few more local places. (Totally beside the point, but I think we're now recognized when we go to our favorite burger place here. They don't know our names, but they know us. And it's kind of nice.) I have a list of local restaurants we need to try. It's taking a while to get through because you know, money... and because Chick-fil-a. It's hard to go anywhere else. ;) OK, let's circle back and review: Logan will be one soon and we're going to go to Dallas, go to the Perot museum (it's also almost Travis's birthday, so the museum is what he wants to do because he's an absolute science nerd), get a Chick-fil-a nuggets tray (yes!!) and a delicious cake, TBD. (And a few other foods, don't worry. It's in process. I still have a month and a half to figure the rest out!)

You already know that Logan is starting to walk and can stand up all by himself. He also loves to eat my food. And he loves to drink water from his straw sippy cup and then dribble it down his chin and onto his clothes. Over and over and over again. Breakfast and dinner are quickly becoming diaper-only affairs. We're just going to have to power through lunch. Logan refuses to say "mama" or anything close to an "mm" sound. He's 100% committed to "dadadadada" all. day. long. He also slept ten hours straight last night. In a row. He's never done that before. And most likely, he'll never do it again. But it was amazing. I couldn't sleep because it was so strange, but that's another issue entirely. If he sees a basket of nicely folded laundry he automatically starts pulling everything out because why not make Mom crazy? (I can't decide if I need a comma after "laundry"...that's gonna bug me.) Dog food is still awesome. And he will now only sleep in his own bed, on his tummy. How things change.

I use brackets and parentheses interchangeably and for entirely different purposes at different times. Just so you know.

My Mama Bear Hour

The internet is suddenly out, so it seems like the perfect opportunity to write a blog post. When I’ll be able to post it is another matter entirely, but we’ll deal with that later. For now, the dogs are in their crates (because they weren’t mindful of the baby), the baby is sound asleep (though for how long is the ultimate question), the husband is at work, and I’m enjoying this extremely comfortable couch in absolute silence [save for the clicking of my keyboard and the humming of the baby monitor].

Last week we went to Oklahoma for my sister’s graduation from Basic Training for the Army. Even though traveling with a baby is something I strive to always avoid, it was wonderful to be there with the family. My parents flew to the states for the occasion, so we all got to be together for three days or so.

[What the heck? First, I type that my husband is at work and then thirty seconds later he texts me that he’s on his way home for dinner. No problem, I like it when he comes home. But then, two minutes after typing that the baby is sound asleep—a sleep that took all of one minute to happen a mere 15 minutes ago—he’s now awake and standing in his crib and crying. I don’t even know what to say. I have got to learn to stop typing these things! It’s too risky! Now I’m just sitting here, staring at my laptop.]

OK, the husband is back at work. Our internet is working again, but I can put off watching Gilmore Girls for the umpteenth time until after I finish this post. Hah.

So back to Oklahoma and my sister’s graduation. Overall, the trip was great! We discovered that Logan is quite the extrovert and knows no strangers. (He literally reached for a random woman at the graduation ceremony and sat on her lap for a good ten/fifteen minutes. No joke.) No matter how little sleep that baby got, as long as there was a room full of people, he was the happiest baby on the block. He made me look like a crazy new mom for insisting that he needs two naps a day, because even after missing one or both of his naps, he was still smiling and having a blast. He was exhausted—but happy. It wasn’t until we got home and all the people were gone that his exhaustion caught up with him and he suddenly became quite fussy and inconsolable. We got back to Waco on Saturday afternoon and that night, he slept for nearly 15 hours. (Not straight through. Don’t get too excited.) Speaking of baby sleep, since I’ve been so obsessed with the topic lately, it only makes sense that my very first “mama bear” moment came as a result of baby sleep—or lack thereof. Thursday morning at 10:00 am, we attended Fort Sill’s Family Day. Well Logan typically naps right around ten most mornings. So he had to skip his morning nap. Once Brittany could leave base with us for the rest of the day, we went out for lunch. It was a long wait because we had a big party and the food took a while to come out, but Logan was doing fine, so we just took his lead. Once he started getting a bit fussy, we decided to leave the restaurant a bit early and get him down for an afternoon nap. Once we got to the hotel, he was asleep within two minutes of being in his pack n play. Two minutes! Poor baby was exhausted! Then twenty minutes later, because everything in the entire world conspires to ruin baby sleep, the fire alarm in the hotel started going off. It was LOUD. However, after five minutes of continuous alarm-ing, my sleeping child still hadn’t woken up. It was amazing! I was about to go deaf, and he was still asleep. I called the front desk to find out if it was a fluke or if we actually needed to evacuate the building to which the receptionist said that we had to leave the building. I had to WAKE MY BABY UP because there was a supposed fire. I was a bit cranky about it, but you know, fires are bad. After the fire alarm was turned off, we went back inside and I tried in vain to get Logan back to sleep. I knew he wouldn’t put himself back to sleep, but I had hopes that I could nurse him to sleep in the bed. Just as he was dozing off, the fire alarm went off again. I was no longer cranky. I was livid. He eventually sat up and was far too awake for any more napping. I called the front desk again only to find out that they had only been testing the system all along. It was just a test. I yelled at the woman on the phone, informing her that I wasn’t paying good money to stay at a hotel where I couldn’t even let my baby nap! But even after yelling on the phone, I was still on fire. I decided to go yell at them in person (Travis went with me just to make sure I stayed relatively calm) in the lobby. The general manager told me there was nothing she could have done because when the fire marshal says they need to test the system, they have to test the system and she told everyone at dinner the night before and breakfast that morning that it was going to happen. My response? I WAS AT DINNER AND BREAKFAST! NO ONE TOLD ME ANYTHING! If I had known, I would never have left lunch early to get my son down for a twenty-minute nap! She apologized. I left still angry. Logan was smiling with the family upstairs. I looked like a lunatic. Eventually I got over it. The manager gave us an apology gift and I felt pretty bad. But I experienced my first mama bear moment. I don’t know that I want to experience many more. Hah.

I’ve also now experienced the “grandparents/aunts/uncles/etc. will feed your baby anything” thing. Logan ate chocolate-chip cookies, chocolate, ice cream…we’re limiting his sugar now. Hah. He also ate some fruits and veggies every once in a while. J We have some great pictures of him eating a huge strawberry. He loved it and he was a complete mess.

For the rest of my Logan news, I’m switching to bullet points. It’s faster. 

• Logan is now very adept at walking with his walker. It makes me nervous that solo walking is right around the corner. 
• Despite all the fun animal-shaped bath toys Logan has, the only toy he wants to play with now is the water dipper. The one bath item that’s for me to use is now his favorite. Figures. 
• He waves now! Not so much at appropriate times, but he loves to wave and loves it even more if you wave back! 
• We had our first “poop in the bathtub” experience. Could have done without that one. 
• Today was like a flying unicorn kind of day. Logan hardly fussed all day. He took two 1 hour, 15 minute naps. He sat on my lap for about ten minutes and giggled every time I said, “Puh-puh-poof!” [What can I say? I’m hysterical.] He sat in his high chair happily for over half an hour while I made his and my dinner. He ate some yellow curry with rice and seemed to like it. The dogs ran into him while going through the doggie door and he only cried for a little while—scrambled eggs and some bites of a biscuit made it all better. He loved my “Zaccheus” song and didn’t cry when I took him out of the bathtub. And for the first time maybe ever, I didn’t want it to be bedtime yet. Flying unicorn days may not be very frequent, but I sure loved this one.

In other news, we had to get our AC fixed in our good car, so I’ve had no car for the last two days. I had to drive Travis’s awful car this morning and couldn’t seem to get it into gear. I have no clue how or why, but I kept maxing out at 40 mph even when I was in fifth gear. Travis says I obviously wasn’t in fifth gear, but I don’t know what else I could have been in. Fifth is the furthest gear you can be in. I’m not saying that “user error” is an impossibility, but I drove that car for a year to and from work every single day and I never had this problem. Granted it’s been a couple years since then, but driving a stick is like riding a bike, right? Anyway, we get our car back tomorrow morning. Yay!

If you like chocolate, you should make Pioneer Woman’s chocolate pie filling recipe and eat it as chocolate pudding. [Same same.] I made a whole recipe on Sunday and finished eating it this afternoon—and I’m not even sorry. UH-mazing! 

When "Naps" Fall into the "Miracle" Category

I have cookies in the oven. We discovered that we had four containers of oats, so I decided to make some chocolate chip/raisin oatmeal cookies. I spent a lot of time researching how to make the best thick, chewy amazing regular chocolate chip cookies—and we now have a wonderful chocolate chip cookie recipe. I’ve shared it with my mom and sisters, and they agree that the cookies are out of this world. But see, I don’t have a wonderful amazing oatmeal cookie recipe… and I hate making bad cookies. I actually hate making bad anything. It makes me hate cooking, but I’m working on it. Anyway, moving on.

Today I used an ottoman, two laundry baskets, a toy box, and Logan’s toy/walker to block the fireplace and dining room. There are only so many times I can chase that kid down and he’s beyond obsessed. And he thinks putting dog food in his mouth is incredibly funny. I think he actually just thinks my reaction is funny, but I’ve been dealing with that my whole life. I’m an easy target because I react so dramatically—and the louder/more high-pitched I sound, the bigger his smile. He also got to try mashed potatoes today and loved them. And he ate enchiladas for dinner. Hah. We’ve discovered that he prefers grown-up food to his baby food. He’s thrown a bit of a fit here and there when we won’t give him more of our food. It starts when we let him taste our food, and then don’t give him more…he gets upset. Silly babies. He’s also decided that naps are beneath him, so his naps only last about half an hour or so. On special miracle days he’ll take a one-hour nap, but those are few and far between. On the upside, he now falls asleep in his own crib by himself within four minutes. He doesn’t stay asleep all night, but it’s much better than holding him down in my bed while he screams and tries to get out of my grip for forty-five minutes just to get him to sleep, and then we have to stress about him crawling off the bed and…it wasn’t going well. And you want to know how we did it? We let him cry. I gave in. I got to a point where he was screaming when I tried to put him down and he was screaming if I left him by himself. It was horrible for a few days and then suddenly he just started going to sleep all by himself. And it was kind of magical. Am I a big cry-it-out advocate now? Not necessarily. But if you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked, then I’d say it’s worth a shot.

OK, so it’s a new day now. Last night got late and sleep became more of a priority. On the upside, I can now tell you that my cookies actually turned out pretty good! They’re better today than they were fresh…which works out well since they’re only fresh for a very short time. I know you guys were on the edge of your seats. You can rest easy now.

Logan woke up at 6:45, nursed for half an hour, and then played with my eyelashes and eyebrows for about twenty minutes. Then he fell asleep. He absolutely loves playing with my eyelashes. I have no clue why or how he even picked out my eyelashes over everything else on my face. But it’s sweet and cute. I can’t for the life of me figure out what I used to talk about before Logan was born. My dogs?

My sister graduates from basic training next week. A bunch of family will be there, and we’re excited to all be together. A nice four-hour drive with a 9 month old should be fun. Hah! But we’re driving in the evening, so hopefully he’ll sleep as much as possible. He’s going to have a blast being around family and getting a lot of attention. He loves attention. You should see him in a restaurant—he tries to stare people down until they look at him. He’s a goof. J (There I go again! I can’t even go one paragraph without circling back to Logan. Goodness gracious.) My other sister visited us this past weekend. It was so wonderful having her here. We've tried to convince her to transfer to Baylor and live with us, but she's a bit resistant to the idea. I haven't given up all hope though. Logan and I are very persuasive. ;) 

You know how I said one-hour naps are few and far between? Well Logan has now been sleeping for an hour and fifteen minutes. Sometimes BIG miracles happen just when you've given up on them. [And he just woke up. Hah. Never speak (or type) your miracles out loud.]

PiYo, a TV, and Mommy-Fails

It's only 8:46 and I'm exhausted. I would go to sleep, but this is my main "do whatever I want" time. Logan is sleeping. The dogs are sleeping. Travis is at work. I've already cleaned the floor and the kitchen. Laundry can wait till tomorrow. (If I started the laundry now, I'd have to stay up at least till it's finished washing. And I don't like putting time restraints on myself like that.) It's so peaceful. 

Less than a week ago, I up and decided that I was tired of my post-baby belly. I may have lost the pregnancy weight, but there's no denying that a baby once lived in my midsection. I can deal with the stretch marks. Mostly because I don't have a choice. But I know there's something I could do about the extra jiggle in my middle. SO, I joined a PiYo class. And I have only one word to say about it: ouch. My entire lower half feels like a car ran over me. [Disclaimer: I don't actually know what that feels like. It's probably a lot worse than what I'm feeling now. Sometimes I dramatize things.] But the thing about starting a new workout (or any workout, in my case) is that once you start, you really have to keep going if you want the soreness to go away. And oh boy yes I do. So I've gone twice. It's been painful twice. But I'm going to power through. Whether my midsection tones up a bit or not, at least I'll be able to touch my toes by the end of the class. [I better be able to touch my toes by the end of the class.] I had to buy a sports bra. I never truly appreciated my bra-buying life before. They make you pay more for bigger sizes. And when you've gone up a couple cup sizes, you can't just buy the cheap sports bras at Walmart. The ones in a two-pack. No no. You have to buy fancy ones. That cost a ton of money. Because if you don't, you can't jump. Or move in any vigorous fashion whatsoever. Sigh. 

We bought a TV. We're no longer that strange couple without a TV. When we lived in our rental house last year, the maintenance people would come by occasionally, and one of the first things they noticed was our lack of a TV. And now we've caved. Hah. But it's nice. :) And once we get the DVD player hooked up, I can watch some Gilmore Girls. It's been far too long. Tomorrow, Travis is going to put the TV on the wall 'cause we're fancy like that. 

We came up with a sleeping solution for the little guy. A few nights ago, I woke up to Travis lunging across me and Logan screaming. I couldn't find Logan in the bed, so I screamed... only to realize that Travis was already picking him up off the floor. He'd crawled off the bed. My heart was pounding. I desperately reached for my baby boy to comfort nurse him--all the while crying my eyes out--until he was calm. Travis checked him for any signs of broken bones or a head injury, while I frantically searched online for what to check if your baby falls off the bed. He was fine. He had a little bump above his eyebrow, and was smiling and climbing all over his daddy within a few minutes. But I felt like the absolute worst mother in the world. I had fallen asleep nursing him on the opposite side of the bed--Travis's side. And even though I had a big body pillow blocking my side of the bed, he'd crawled right over it. I slept the rest of the night only on my side of the bed, simply leaning over a bit more if he needed to nurse on my other side. Needless to say, our co-sleeping arrangement was no longer the best option. I tried cry-it-out again the next night to no avail. I tried moving him to the crib after he was asleep--he just woke up screaming immediately. Finally, I turned to my trusty friend: Google. I read a few co-sleeping mommy blogs for some advice. It turns out that true blue dedicated co-sleepers will go as far as to put their mattress straight on the floor to prevent falls. I'm not a dedicated co-sleeper. I'm a co-sleeper by necessity. [Though I will admit that I've grown quite accustomed to sleeping with my little man and don't hate it as much as I once thought I did.] The mommy blog suggestion I liked best (though obviously not from a dedicated co-sleeper) was to put the baby on their own mattress on the floor. So we did! We moved his crib mattress to the floor, against one of the walls in our room. He sleeps! It's amazing! I can still nurse him to sleep without having to move him, and he won't get hurt if he rolls or crawls off. (We put pillows around the edges to ease the transition.) He's crawled off a couple times now with no problem. The only [recently discovered] problem is that if he wakes up quietly from his naps and crawls to the bedroom door before I hear him, I can't get in the room because he's pulled himself up against the door. It takes a little while to slowly inch in the door open so I don't knock him over. But other than that, it's wonderful! Yay for helpful mommy blogs! :) And bigger yay for no more crawling off the bed!! 

Owning dogs is expensive. Possibly more expensive than a baby. Though I'm sure the baby will start costing us more eventually. For now, these two fur babies are money drainers. Hah. Between food and the vet and baths and heartworm prevention... these guys are crazy expensive. Although I will admit that the "baths" part is an optional expense. It comes from my complete refusal to bathe them--they're really strong!--and Travis's distaste for bathing them in the winter. We [and when I say "we" I really mean "Travis"] bathe them outside with the hose because Sabre has some kind of claustrophobia fit if he has to get a bath in the bathtub. He handles it like a champ...well, like a whiney, difficult champ--if it's outside. Tatum doesn't necessarily like her baths either, but she's not the problem child. So, in the winter, we prefer to have them bathed elsewhere. The water from the hose, despite this being Texas, is still pretty cold. I'm telling you this because they need baths. Our usual groomer is all booked up this week. I better call and make an appointment for next week. I was hoping they'd be bathed before then, but it's not looking likely, folks. 

Logan's newest interests are: 1. Trying to climb out the doggie door. This morning he got about halfway out. Travis encourages his endeavors. 2. Pulling himself up on the dog's food bowl container and grabbing handfuls of dog food. He smiles really big when I tell him "No!" and peel his fingers back to get rid of his fistfuls of kibble and wash his hands. I'm really starting to think he thinks he's a dog.

my living room smells so good

The baby is sleeping. Probably for about two more minutes now that I'm actually trying to do something. We're going on two days in a row of only two naps! While it may seem like more naps is better, it's not. I mean, if my child was an easy napper and stayed asleep, it might be nice. But when I have to lie down with him for half an hour to get him to sleep only to have him wake up twenty minutes after I left, it's not worth it. However, this two naps a day thing is rockin' my socks off. He's already been asleep for over an hour! That was wishful thinking mere days ago. And tonight I'm going to be strong. I'm going to resist his cute little sleeping face snuggled up next to me... and I'm going to move him to his own crib. He will probably wake up. And I will simply do everything I can to get him back asleep... in his crib. Whether he'll sleep in the crib all night long has yet to be determined. But he'll at least start there. I waver in my determination much more when it's the middle of the night and I'm not fully awake. [Two minutes! Told ya!]

OK, so now that I'm writing this with an awake baby crawling around my house, you may want to lower your expectations for coherence and organization and not-repeating-myself. I'll do my best though.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I'm saving my floor-cleaning for tomorrow. Today is the last day the dogs will be going in and out of the doggie door [tracking in dirt and leaves, etc.] for a few days, so I don't see any reason to clean the floor today. It's only going to get worse before the day is over. Logan loves to eat the leaves the dogs track inside. I've offered him a myriad of [mostly] age-appropriate human snacks... but he wants the leaves! I also have a whole mess of lovely toys for him to play with... but he wants plastic bags and power cords. Oh babies.

And here's a concise-ish list of the other things going on in my life:

• My sister is at basic training for the army right now. We finally got her mailing address, so we can now communicate with her. Yay! [Logan's been wearing a lot more camo in honor of his aunt. It's also adorable on him.]
• Last Saturday we bought new furniture. It was delivered this morning. It's leather. Our living room smells gooood!
• The hubs let me buy new throw pillows for the living room. And curtain rods and curtains. He had more restraint than I did and vetoed a few things. Unless I try to wear him down another day. Hah. ;)
• Honey-Garlic Chicken Thighs are cooking in the crockpot! All I have to do is heat up some rice and open a can of green beans. (And heat up the green beans, but that just goes without saying...) I love dinner that involves so little work!
• My wonderful husband made the most amazing Fajitas for dinner the other night. I mean really though. He was worried my expectations were too high... which may have been a good thing, because he really kicked it up a notch. If it weren't for the fact that he has the good job that brings in all the money, I might let him be the stay-at-home-parent. He's already the better cook! But my English degree leaves much to be desired by way of job opportunities. 
• No matter how many times I try to divert Logan away from the hearth [because it's brick and I have horrible visions of his face meeting the brick], he will crawl back to it every. single. time. No toy is more exciting than pulling himself up on the hearth. Joy of joys.
• Sleep training is hard. I absolutely can not do "cry-it-out" for anything in the world. I've tried. [I've only ever lasted about three minutes.] I've failed. I just have to come up with a less heart-wrenching method. For now, we're getting sleep and that's what matters today. 
• We might get a TV. It's in the talks. Hah. 

When Logan gets excited, he starts panting. He also tries to chase [a very slow chase] the dogs around and eat their rawhide bones.

Three Countries, Three States, and Back Home

We were gone for three weeks. And you know what I learned during those three weeks? Traveling is exhausting. And when you have a baby with you? Three weeks is a really. long. time. Don't get me wrong! It went by really fast and was so much fun! (The flights, not the best. But I expected that one.) But babies change so much. When we left Waco, Logan was [mostly] immobile. He liked pulling himself up (but was still a novice at it) and could only kind of crawl backwards. He had no teeth and only a little bit of hair. Oh. And his pants were all a bit long on him. Every single thing I just mentioned has changed. He is an expert at pulling himself up. He crawls forwards very well. He has two teeth (not all the way in, but they're still there) and lots of much-lighter-than-when-he-was-born hair. His pants are the perfect length now. And he's started blowing raspberries. And drinking from his sippy cup [yesterday]. And eating solid foods without gagging at each new texture. How can so much happen in such a short time? We have to get him a bigger carseat too! Crazy growing, changing kid.

But more happened on our trip than the ever-changing Logan. To start with, Indonesia was wonderful. Even though it was the first time I've gone back to Indonesia and didn't think of it as "home," it was still familiar and comfortable, even though so much has changed in the last six and a half years. If possible, it's more crowded and less organized than before. Hah. But it's also wonderful. I had KFC nearly everyday. [At least I tried to.] I didn't get a picture of my KFC, because once I had it in front of me, I had no self-control. Every time. We had KFC for breakfast (chicken strip and scrambled eggs on a tortilla), for lunch & dinner (two pieces of chicken and rice). I wish American KFC could figure out how to make their chicken as good as Indonesian KFC. We also got sate (satay) with sweet soy sauce (I'm not a peanut sauce fan); mie goreng (fried noodles); kue putuh!! (steamed rice flour filled with brown sugar and topped with shredded coconut); roti cane/canai susu (fried bread (?) dipped in sweetened condensed milk); Chinese noodles made by a good friend of ours; and nasi tumpeng (yellow rice shaped into a pyramid surrounded by chicken, eggs, potatoes, and other such sides). We took Logan to the women's prison in Bandung. They loved him! He met new people everyday and seemed to love it! He really liked all the jilbabs (head coverings the Muslim women wear)! They were so brightly colored and had pretty patterns! Hah. He did not, however, like the call to prayer. There are so many mosques that it seemed extra loud and long each time it went off (five times a day)... the worst one being the 4:15 am. Thankfully, he got used to it after the first few days and didn't wake up every night.

I would also like to talk about the wonderful pampering I experienced. One creambath, one full body massage, one 45 minute foot massage, and one 1.5 hr foot reflexology (that also included a back/head/shoulder segment). And I spent $10 or less for each of those things. And then Travis and I got to go out on a date to watch Night at the Museum 3 at the "Velvet Class" theatre. It was a bed, you guys! We got to watch a movie at the theatre on. a. bed. With pillows and a blanket! And food service, if we so pleased. It was the absolute best way to watch a movie. I don't know that I can ever watch a movie in a regular theatre seat ever again. I've been far too spoiled. Oh. And did I mention that it was only $12 for both tickets? For a bed!!

Oh yes. And Logan survived all the plane rides without a single blowout! Yay!

Here are some lovely pictures from our trip:

Nasi Tumpeng! It was so good! (My mom was given the honor of cutting the top off and presenting it to someone. Traditions.)

Logan on Christmas morning! He was as excited about his stocking as the gifts inside.

Logan with Daddy on Christmas morning! He always smiles for pictures with Daddy...

And with Mommy! In case you can't read his shirt, it says, "Gift to the Ladies"... isn't he though? Hah!

This was my dad's first time meeting Logan--his first and only grandchild! It was fun to see them together!

The kue putuh man came by on Christmas day to give me kue putuh! I told him to come back and he only came back once. Sad. But still delicious!

I was really terrible at taking pictures while we were gone. We basically took pictures on Christmas day and the day we left. Pathetic. Hopefully my dad and sisters took more pictures that they'll be happy to share with me. :) After Indonesia, we spent almost a week in Wisconsin with Travis's family. It was freezing! We went from tropical weather to bitterly cold weather in a matter of days. And it's no secret that I prefer the tropical. Hah. But we survived. There was snow. Lots of snow. I was hoping to get a picture of Logan in the snow, but the windchill was often in the -20s, and I didn't feel like torturing my poor baby boy. Or myself. Hah. We'll have to get snow pictures another year. (Unless it snows in Waco this year... which would be pretty crazy, but it can happen.)

Our dogs have been surprisingly mellow since we got home. I think Sabre is sick. If he doesn't start acting like himself soon, I might just have to take him to the vet. He threw up last night and has been lying in his crate most of the day. Tatum hasn't seemed sick, but she's also just sleeping all day. Silly puppies. I can't tell if they're just recovering from all the fun they had while we were gone, or if they don't sleep well when they're not with us. They've done this before after we board them (not the sick part, just the sleepy part), so who knows. But on the positive side, it rained a lot a few days before we got back, so our backyard is a bit muddy. Usually that would be a terrible thing, but with sleepy, lethargic dogs, it's quite manageable.

This post has taken most of the day to write. The joys of a mobile baby. And a baby that will only nap if I nap with him. Sometimes, when he's actually distracted by something and enjoying himself, I avoid eye contact. Because if I look at him, he often decides that he's no longer having fun and we have to find something else to do. Something less calm and more work. Hah.

And it's time for a diaper change. Happy New Year, friends!