the normal stuff of life

I think June 2015 marked the first month I haven't written a blog post since I started this blog. I could be wrong. I've been wrong before. But I really think so. Although I do feel like I have a reasonably good excuse... maybe. Since I last wrote at the beginning-ish of May, we have gone to South Carolina for a week and a half, to Dallas for a weekend (plus two other drives there and back), to San Antonio for a weekend, and my in-laws stayed with us for a week and a half and just left two days ago. Logan's naps have been less than consistent (to put it mildly), and the times he did nap I chose to spend that time cooking/cleaning/folding laundry WHILE watching a TV show on Netflix. Hah. That's the thing about TV shows (or movies)--you can watching them while you do something productive. You can't type a blog post while you fold laundry. Impossible. (Or at least very inefficient.) So I indulged myself. I watched a bunch of shows that are no longer airing, so at least there was a definite end point. And now I don't know what else to watch. Which, as it turns out, is a good thing. As you can see, I'm writing. And in my free time now, I work on becoming a better direct sales consultant in my humble attempt at contributing something to our finances. I can't work out of the home without racking up a huge daycare expense... so why not try working from home? And I'm selling bags--I love bags! So now I still get to see all my son's milestones, I'm making some money, I get free bags, I watch TV, I write... it all seems pretty great! [Until, of course, Logan is throwing his tenth tantrum of the afternoon and I haven't been able to do any of that because all he wants to do is be carried around and/or sit on my lap and watch the Five Little Ducks song again. But you know, perspective.]

Also since I last wrote, Logan is nearly two months older! Where does the time go? Here are his new accomplishments:

• He has mastered walking and is trying desperately to run. Falling does not deter him. 
• He now says Dada, duck, go, down, and an assortment of "one time" words that we can't get him to repeat. But he does not speak by request. He only talks if he wants to. And he's still completely incapable (or unwilling?) to say "mama." In fact, he laughs if I ask him to say it.
• He hates the word "no" and wants to do whatever we're saying "no" to even more once we say it. He even tries to run away with his contraband (so many things) and do it further away from us. He's kind of a brat. A cute, lovable brat though. 
• Whenever Sabre stands up abruptly either to go out the doggie door or follow Travis/me somewhere, Logan frantically runs/falls to a couch and holds on for dear life. Apparently the poor kid has been knocked down a few too many times. 
• This morning I asked Logan to get his ball, phone, and shoes--and he knew every single one! I had no idea! He also knows which toy is the duck in his bathtub. :)
• Logan is starting to love the dogs. His love, however, is a bit violent. He likes to whack their faces repeatedly. They don't stick around for too long. He also likes to climb over them. Sabre just lets him. Tatum panics and moves away. He also tries to give them his toys. I've been very proud of their restraint in not actually playing (ahem, biting and destroying) the toys Logan hands off. What sweet doggies!
• Logan loves testing gravity. I was warned about this... but I don't think I realized how incredibly annoying it would be. Now I know: so. annoying.

The dogs have also had quite the month. Sabre had an intestinal infection that caused some explosive diarrhea all over his crate and the wall. Travis had to clean it up (because I'm nice like that) and moved their crates outside while Sabre was on antibiotic. But then we decided we liked not having the crates inside (they're not very pretty), so we left them outside and now the dogs get to roam freely in the house. And sleep wherever they want. :) Tatum had an abscess on her stomach (most likely the result of a bug bite) and was also put on antibiotic [side note: big dogs need expensive antibiotics], but it didn't heal up, so now she's finishing up her second round and I think it's pretty much healed. Both dogs had their bi-annual comprehensive exam and first teeth cleaning. Sabre supposedly needs to be put on a special diet for his kidneys, but we're hoping there's a better option because the kidney diet dog food would cost us around $120 a month--and then we still have to buy Tatum food! But now I think the dogs are doing better (I hope!) and we'll be able to stop taking them to the vet for a little while. 

Travis and I are coming up on our fourth wedding anniversary, so hopefully I'll have a chance to do my "lessons I've learned in another year of marriage" post sometime in the next week. Gotta keep up the tradition--if not for anyone else, for me! And I've learned A LOT this year! Hah. :) So stay tuned! 

This has been an incredibly unexciting post, but sometimes, that's life. It's just normal and mundane and not all that exciting--but still wonderful. Logan is awake and talking to himself in his crib. Time to get back to mommy-ing. 

Also, July 14th is Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. And July 23rd is Free Tea Day at McAlister's. July is a good month, folks!

A Legacy of Motherhood

I've been thinking about and anticipating Mother's Day for quite a while. Now before you think I'm an incredibly self-absorbed new mom that longs to be celebrated, let me explain. Back on June 1st, my sweet, precious baby boy made me a mom. It was an incredible day. But let me be honest... I was so incredibly overwhelmed. Some moms want to hold their newborn babies right away, as soon as they've entered the world. I was fine letting the nurses weigh and measure him first. My husband and sisters got to see Logan more than I did initially, and I was OK with that. I was excited that he was finally here, but I was terrified of this tiny person. It was suddenly my full responsibility to nourish and care for this completely helpless little baby. Why hadn't I realized how much pressure this was going to be? I spent that first night in the hospital alone with Logan... and I don't know that I slept at all. There were nurses checking on both of us all the time, yet I couldn't relax. Every tiny noise he made scared the sleep right out of me.

My mom had planned to be with me for the delivery, but Logan decided to show up a week early, so she hadn't arrived yet. When she finally got here, I was an absolute mess! I was having a terrible time nursing. After five days home with me, Logan had lost more weight. I couldn't sleep at all. Travis was sleeping harder and longer than he ever had in the entire duration of our marriage, and I was running on nothing. Logan would wake up crying, hungry, but I couldn't feed him. I couldn't get him to latch on and my breasts were endlessly engorged and aching. Then my mom arrived. It was time to feed Logan and I felt close to tears at the thought of making him cry because his inept mother couldn't figure out how to nurse him. My mom went with me to my bedroom, told me lie on the bed, and she placed Logan next to me. She helped guide his head and got him to latch on in mere seconds. I was shocked! Elated, but shocked. Logan finally got a good meal!

Since that day, I've gone to my mom for numerous other new-mom-freak-out-moments. And throughout the last year, I've realized something: I've always taken my mom for granted. Oh sure, we always celebrated Mother's Day with breakfast in bed, a basket full of her favorite goodies, and lunch at a restaurant of her choosing... but I don't know that I ever stopped to think about what a mom--my mom--really does. Then I became a mom, and it rocked my world--in a good way and an exhausting way. All the things I've had to do (some willingly, others begrudgingly), my mom had to do them too. Three times over! All the endless middle of the night feedings... followed by the endless middle of the night wake ups to play... the teething accompanied by fits of screaming till those teeth cut through... the injuries (though as the most cautious kid to ever walk the earth, I think I may have give my mom a false sense of security on this one--but then she had Brittany!)... the completely reasonable tears.... the completely unreasonable tears [like wanting to drink out of a straw but not wanting the straw in the cup.. but crying because no water was coming out of the straw]... the no sleeping at nap time... the no sleeping at night time... the husband working at night and being the only parent to calm a screaming baby... and eventually being the only parent able to calm the baby down because that's what they're used to. And these are only the things I've gone through. I'm one year in! One year?? My mom is over 25 years in! She's made endless cupcakes to take to school on birthdays. She's helped plan elaborate birthday parties. She's helped with school projects about the state of Texas or Annie Oakley. She helped come up with various Storybook Day (aka Halloween) costumes--even letting us have our costumes made at a tailor! She's made countless breakfasts before school while still preparing lunch for us to take to school. She's edited more papers than I could count and run lines with me for every play I've ever been in. She's played the piano for most of my vocal performances. She's always reminded me to turn to God and trust Him in all things. She helped me through my first heartbreak and helped me plan my wedding. She's flown back to the states on more than one occasion to be with me for a big life event. She gave up a month of vacation time to help take care of my son--and me. She hardly slept; she cleaned our house; she did our laundry; she cooked our meals; and she never once complained. No matter what it's been, she's done it willingly.

There are so many attributes of my mom that I long to emulate. My mom is not a gossip. I have never once heard my mom say a mean thing about someone else or reveal something someone shared with her in confidence. My mom is not a coddler. She encourages us and supports us--but also tells us when we are in the wrong and that we need to apologize. She always helps people. Part of her job is helping new families in Bandung get settled in and enrolled in language school. And no matter what, she always answers their phone calls. On Christmas morning, in the middle of our gift opening, she received a call from one of the new families. She apologized to us for interrupting Christmas, and took the call. The family's car had broken down in the middle of nowhere (essentially) and they weren't sure what to do--and didn't have the Indonesian language skills to communicate well. She made numerous phone calls to make sure that another car with a driver would go pick them up and help get their car in the shop. On Christmas morning!

I have never had to consider what kind of mother I want to be. I have always known that I want to be just like my mom. And that, my friends, is why I've been anticipating Mother's Day. Because this year, I understand. This year, I know that motherhood is exhausting and frustrating and wonderful and fun and so much more work than I ever realized. But it's also so rewarding. And I can assure you that through every single mom-moment I have, especially the ones where I feel overwhelmed and exhausted, my mom will always be there for me, because that's the kind of mom she is. So thank you, Mom. Thank you for being you. Happy Mother's Day!

Now I'm going to finish off with some wonderful Logan stories:

• I put Logan on my lap a couple days ago and started singing a song he likes. Just a few words into the song, he started clapping. He'd never clapped before. It was an exciting day! Hah.
• In one afternoon, Logan cried for the following reasons: I didn't let him stay outside and eat dirt after he crawled out the doggie door; I wouldn't let him play with the water in my drinking cup; I wouldn't let him pick up the dog food bowl and dump all the dog food on the floor; I checked outside the front door because the dogs were insistent that something/someone was out there, but I didn't take him outside; I didn't hold him nonstop the entire afternoon. 
• Logan follows me into the bathroom and then stands up next to me while I pee. As soon as I stand up, he tries to grab the toilet paper out of the toilet before I can flush it. He's only succeeded once: the first time. 
• If Logan sees me changing (ahem, without my shirt/bra on), all he sees is MILK. He starts panting and frantically trying to get to his (apparent) all-access buffet. [Weaning is on the horizon, folks!]
• Logan loves pasta! It doesn't matter how much food he's eaten: he will stuff his face with any kind of pasta. [Except for the Gerber graduate ravioli pick-ups. He spits those out. He'll eat dog food though. Just sayin'.]
• We let Logan watch music videos on YouTube. "The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round..." He bounces.
• In a desperate attempt to keep Logan from stealing our phones, we gave him Travis's old iPod touch to play with. He loves that thing. 
• When playing with his toys, Logan is determined to always have two toys in one hand. He will spend an inordinate amount of time trying to get both toys in the same hand. And he's always very proud when he succeeds. 
• Logan throws quite the temper tantrums if he doesn't get his way. Arched back, angry face, hitting mom, flopping to this back, etc. It's intense. But also a little bit funny. 

Home Renovation Junkie and Cake (And a Car!)

Last Sunday, when Travis picked Logan up from the nursery, his teacher said, "He's been walking. He takes about four steps or so. He'll probably need to move up to the next class next week." You guys. That's ridiculous! My sweet baby boy only just moved to the crawlers class. [In January. But still.] He's not ready to be with the walkers yet. Although I will say this: apparently Logan's Sunday school teacher knows better than I how much can change in just a week. On Tuesday he learned how to stand up. Not pull up. Stand up. He'd done it a couple times before, but never consistently. Then on Tuesday, it just clicked. He practiced it all day yesterday (Wednesday) and even challenged himself by trying to pick up a toy while in the standing up process. And then he takes steps. Slow, wobbly steps. He's improved quite a bit in just a week. He even had the thought to chase Sabre yesterday. He was climbing on the poor dog when Sabre finally realized he could leave. Logan tried really hard to walk after him, but only got about two steps in before he fell. [He was trying to go way too fast!] The one thing I didn't expect with all this "learning to walk" stuff was how good Logan is at catching himself. He rarely gets hurt. And I gotta say, after my first experience with baby injury blood, I'm more than happy to avoid any and all injuries. Logan doesn't stop doing something just because he got hurt once--he does it again, just differently. Pretty smart. (As I'm typing this, he's behind the glider playing with a basket of newborn socks I was pretending were already packed away, and his "baby Bible." Not important, just thought I'd let you know.)

So I started binge-watching Fixer Upper the other day. There aren't all that many episodes online, but I'm pretty good at tracking tv shows down. The show itself is wonderful. I've missed home improvement shows, and this one is probably my favorite. (It does, however, make Waco look quite a bit nicer than it actually is. Don't get me wrong; there are some nice parts of Waco. But I know the areas they're fixing up these houses...and there's a reason they don't show you the surrounding houses.) But you know what the problem with watching home improvement shows is? Suddenly your house looks completely inadequate. I mean really though. I've gone through and made a list of all the things--big and small--that I want to change in our house. Some of them have been in the talks for a while, but others are new based on my new vast knowledge of home renovation. [wink, wink] I also want to decorate. My decorating style is mostly a less-is-more philosophy for two reasons: dogs and babies. Anything that touches the floor has to be sturdy. It can't be knocked over by an 85 pound dog and it can't be pulled over by a pulling-up baby or broken by the giant kid trapped in my husband's body. For example, furniture is great! Yep. That's it. Just furniture. Nothing else. Oh! An area rug. I'm more than willing to hang things on the wall. (Which, by the way, is where our TV is now. You live and learn.) Pictures, frames, decorative accents--all great if they go on the wall. Or if they're throw pillows. I bought some inexpensive pillows recently to give our living room a bit more color... and I discovered why they didn't cost much. Already: holes. Big holes. [Because, hello, big dogs.] I found nicer, seemingly more sturdy pillows at Target but the husband said no. My second idea is to buy some sturdy [yet soft] fabric and just recover the existing cheap pillows. My only hurdle there is that I don't know how to sew. I mean, I can sew up a tiny little hole with the best of 'em. But this seems like it might be a bit out of my wheelhouse. We went shopping at this really fun antique/vintage store over by our old apartment, and they had this super cute dining room table. It had seating for six with these cushioned chairs... I would have bought it in a heartbeat. [Which is probably why Travis insisted on shopping with me. I planned to go this afternoon with the baby, but he said he wanted to go. And then vetoed my purchases. Sounds like a conspiracy to me.]

Before you think my dear husband is a penny-pinching tyrant, the reason he's been vetoing all my completely reasonable money-spending is because I convinced him to buy a new [used] car. I kept telling him we'd wait until we were pregnant again... then I said we'd wait till the end of this year... then I said we'd wait till this summer... then we bought a car now. I'm impatient, what can I say? But I was getting frustrated with squeezing myself into our Accord while holding a wiggly Logan so I could get him into his carseat. And out of his carseat. And we had to put the car in the shop for two days a few weeks ago because the AC was acting up and found ourselves without a kid-friendly car. Had the AC gone out in June or July or August, we would have been driving our little baby around in 100+ degree heat without AC because Travis's old junky car also has no AC. Anyway, my point is, I felt it was important to have more than one decent car. Coupled with my frustration at putting a baby in a sedan, we bought a beautiful Chevy Traverse. It's only three years old, has less than 50,000 miles, and is in great condition! It has an optional third row, so once our family expands a bit more (two kids more, actually), we won't have to get another car. At least, that's the hope. :) I love our new car. It's so wonderful. And it smells good.

My son will be turning one in a month and a half! That's crazy! At first I was thinking of just doing something really small. Possibly just a cake smash photo session with just us. But then I realized that turning one is a big deal and should be celebrated as such. So I think we're going to go to Dallas for the weekend, and celebrate with whatever family is around. And since it is a birthday and really, the first birthday is not so much for the baby since to him, it's the same as any other day, why not get the good foods for the adults and, most importantly, the good cake! I love cake. I really love good cake. Like the kind of cake you get at weddings. Some weddings. My wedding cake was delicious! :) So I've been researching cakes [probably too much] and now I just need to decide how much is reasonable for a cake for a one year old's birthday and where I'm going to order one. I was thinking about getting one here in Waco and taking it with us to Dallas, because why not try some local places? Obviously a big city like Dallas is going to have a ton of great [more expensive] bakeries, but why not get to know a few more local places. (Totally beside the point, but I think we're now recognized when we go to our favorite burger place here. They don't know our names, but they know us. And it's kind of nice.) I have a list of local restaurants we need to try. It's taking a while to get through because you know, money... and because Chick-fil-a. It's hard to go anywhere else. ;) OK, let's circle back and review: Logan will be one soon and we're going to go to Dallas, go to the Perot museum (it's also almost Travis's birthday, so the museum is what he wants to do because he's an absolute science nerd), get a Chick-fil-a nuggets tray (yes!!) and a delicious cake, TBD. (And a few other foods, don't worry. It's in process. I still have a month and a half to figure the rest out!)

You already know that Logan is starting to walk and can stand up all by himself. He also loves to eat my food. And he loves to drink water from his straw sippy cup and then dribble it down his chin and onto his clothes. Over and over and over again. Breakfast and dinner are quickly becoming diaper-only affairs. We're just going to have to power through lunch. Logan refuses to say "mama" or anything close to an "mm" sound. He's 100% committed to "dadadadada" all. day. long. He also slept ten hours straight last night. In a row. He's never done that before. And most likely, he'll never do it again. But it was amazing. I couldn't sleep because it was so strange, but that's another issue entirely. If he sees a basket of nicely folded laundry he automatically starts pulling everything out because why not make Mom crazy? (I can't decide if I need a comma after "laundry"...that's gonna bug me.) Dog food is still awesome. And he will now only sleep in his own bed, on his tummy. How things change.

I use brackets and parentheses interchangeably and for entirely different purposes at different times. Just so you know.

My Mama Bear Hour

The internet is suddenly out, so it seems like the perfect opportunity to write a blog post. When I’ll be able to post it is another matter entirely, but we’ll deal with that later. For now, the dogs are in their crates (because they weren’t mindful of the baby), the baby is sound asleep (though for how long is the ultimate question), the husband is at work, and I’m enjoying this extremely comfortable couch in absolute silence [save for the clicking of my keyboard and the humming of the baby monitor].

Last week we went to Oklahoma for my sister’s graduation from Basic Training for the Army. Even though traveling with a baby is something I strive to always avoid, it was wonderful to be there with the family. My parents flew to the states for the occasion, so we all got to be together for three days or so.

[What the heck? First, I type that my husband is at work and then thirty seconds later he texts me that he’s on his way home for dinner. No problem, I like it when he comes home. But then, two minutes after typing that the baby is sound asleep—a sleep that took all of one minute to happen a mere 15 minutes ago—he’s now awake and standing in his crib and crying. I don’t even know what to say. I have got to learn to stop typing these things! It’s too risky! Now I’m just sitting here, staring at my laptop.]

OK, the husband is back at work. Our internet is working again, but I can put off watching Gilmore Girls for the umpteenth time until after I finish this post. Hah.

So back to Oklahoma and my sister’s graduation. Overall, the trip was great! We discovered that Logan is quite the extrovert and knows no strangers. (He literally reached for a random woman at the graduation ceremony and sat on her lap for a good ten/fifteen minutes. No joke.) No matter how little sleep that baby got, as long as there was a room full of people, he was the happiest baby on the block. He made me look like a crazy new mom for insisting that he needs two naps a day, because even after missing one or both of his naps, he was still smiling and having a blast. He was exhausted—but happy. It wasn’t until we got home and all the people were gone that his exhaustion caught up with him and he suddenly became quite fussy and inconsolable. We got back to Waco on Saturday afternoon and that night, he slept for nearly 15 hours. (Not straight through. Don’t get too excited.) Speaking of baby sleep, since I’ve been so obsessed with the topic lately, it only makes sense that my very first “mama bear” moment came as a result of baby sleep—or lack thereof. Thursday morning at 10:00 am, we attended Fort Sill’s Family Day. Well Logan typically naps right around ten most mornings. So he had to skip his morning nap. Once Brittany could leave base with us for the rest of the day, we went out for lunch. It was a long wait because we had a big party and the food took a while to come out, but Logan was doing fine, so we just took his lead. Once he started getting a bit fussy, we decided to leave the restaurant a bit early and get him down for an afternoon nap. Once we got to the hotel, he was asleep within two minutes of being in his pack n play. Two minutes! Poor baby was exhausted! Then twenty minutes later, because everything in the entire world conspires to ruin baby sleep, the fire alarm in the hotel started going off. It was LOUD. However, after five minutes of continuous alarm-ing, my sleeping child still hadn’t woken up. It was amazing! I was about to go deaf, and he was still asleep. I called the front desk to find out if it was a fluke or if we actually needed to evacuate the building to which the receptionist said that we had to leave the building. I had to WAKE MY BABY UP because there was a supposed fire. I was a bit cranky about it, but you know, fires are bad. After the fire alarm was turned off, we went back inside and I tried in vain to get Logan back to sleep. I knew he wouldn’t put himself back to sleep, but I had hopes that I could nurse him to sleep in the bed. Just as he was dozing off, the fire alarm went off again. I was no longer cranky. I was livid. He eventually sat up and was far too awake for any more napping. I called the front desk again only to find out that they had only been testing the system all along. It was just a test. I yelled at the woman on the phone, informing her that I wasn’t paying good money to stay at a hotel where I couldn’t even let my baby nap! But even after yelling on the phone, I was still on fire. I decided to go yell at them in person (Travis went with me just to make sure I stayed relatively calm) in the lobby. The general manager told me there was nothing she could have done because when the fire marshal says they need to test the system, they have to test the system and she told everyone at dinner the night before and breakfast that morning that it was going to happen. My response? I WAS AT DINNER AND BREAKFAST! NO ONE TOLD ME ANYTHING! If I had known, I would never have left lunch early to get my son down for a twenty-minute nap! She apologized. I left still angry. Logan was smiling with the family upstairs. I looked like a lunatic. Eventually I got over it. The manager gave us an apology gift and I felt pretty bad. But I experienced my first mama bear moment. I don’t know that I want to experience many more. Hah.

I’ve also now experienced the “grandparents/aunts/uncles/etc. will feed your baby anything” thing. Logan ate chocolate-chip cookies, chocolate, ice cream…we’re limiting his sugar now. Hah. He also ate some fruits and veggies every once in a while. J We have some great pictures of him eating a huge strawberry. He loved it and he was a complete mess.

For the rest of my Logan news, I’m switching to bullet points. It’s faster. 

• Logan is now very adept at walking with his walker. It makes me nervous that solo walking is right around the corner. 
• Despite all the fun animal-shaped bath toys Logan has, the only toy he wants to play with now is the water dipper. The one bath item that’s for me to use is now his favorite. Figures. 
• He waves now! Not so much at appropriate times, but he loves to wave and loves it even more if you wave back! 
• We had our first “poop in the bathtub” experience. Could have done without that one. 
• Today was like a flying unicorn kind of day. Logan hardly fussed all day. He took two 1 hour, 15 minute naps. He sat on my lap for about ten minutes and giggled every time I said, “Puh-puh-poof!” [What can I say? I’m hysterical.] He sat in his high chair happily for over half an hour while I made his and my dinner. He ate some yellow curry with rice and seemed to like it. The dogs ran into him while going through the doggie door and he only cried for a little while—scrambled eggs and some bites of a biscuit made it all better. He loved my “Zaccheus” song and didn’t cry when I took him out of the bathtub. And for the first time maybe ever, I didn’t want it to be bedtime yet. Flying unicorn days may not be very frequent, but I sure loved this one.

In other news, we had to get our AC fixed in our good car, so I’ve had no car for the last two days. I had to drive Travis’s awful car this morning and couldn’t seem to get it into gear. I have no clue how or why, but I kept maxing out at 40 mph even when I was in fifth gear. Travis says I obviously wasn’t in fifth gear, but I don’t know what else I could have been in. Fifth is the furthest gear you can be in. I’m not saying that “user error” is an impossibility, but I drove that car for a year to and from work every single day and I never had this problem. Granted it’s been a couple years since then, but driving a stick is like riding a bike, right? Anyway, we get our car back tomorrow morning. Yay!

If you like chocolate, you should make Pioneer Woman’s chocolate pie filling recipe and eat it as chocolate pudding. [Same same.] I made a whole recipe on Sunday and finished eating it this afternoon—and I’m not even sorry. UH-mazing! 

When "Naps" Fall into the "Miracle" Category

I have cookies in the oven. We discovered that we had four containers of oats, so I decided to make some chocolate chip/raisin oatmeal cookies. I spent a lot of time researching how to make the best thick, chewy amazing regular chocolate chip cookies—and we now have a wonderful chocolate chip cookie recipe. I’ve shared it with my mom and sisters, and they agree that the cookies are out of this world. But see, I don’t have a wonderful amazing oatmeal cookie recipe… and I hate making bad cookies. I actually hate making bad anything. It makes me hate cooking, but I’m working on it. Anyway, moving on.

Today I used an ottoman, two laundry baskets, a toy box, and Logan’s toy/walker to block the fireplace and dining room. There are only so many times I can chase that kid down and he’s beyond obsessed. And he thinks putting dog food in his mouth is incredibly funny. I think he actually just thinks my reaction is funny, but I’ve been dealing with that my whole life. I’m an easy target because I react so dramatically—and the louder/more high-pitched I sound, the bigger his smile. He also got to try mashed potatoes today and loved them. And he ate enchiladas for dinner. Hah. We’ve discovered that he prefers grown-up food to his baby food. He’s thrown a bit of a fit here and there when we won’t give him more of our food. It starts when we let him taste our food, and then don’t give him more…he gets upset. Silly babies. He’s also decided that naps are beneath him, so his naps only last about half an hour or so. On special miracle days he’ll take a one-hour nap, but those are few and far between. On the upside, he now falls asleep in his own crib by himself within four minutes. He doesn’t stay asleep all night, but it’s much better than holding him down in my bed while he screams and tries to get out of my grip for forty-five minutes just to get him to sleep, and then we have to stress about him crawling off the bed and…it wasn’t going well. And you want to know how we did it? We let him cry. I gave in. I got to a point where he was screaming when I tried to put him down and he was screaming if I left him by himself. It was horrible for a few days and then suddenly he just started going to sleep all by himself. And it was kind of magical. Am I a big cry-it-out advocate now? Not necessarily. But if you’ve tried everything and nothing has worked, then I’d say it’s worth a shot.

OK, so it’s a new day now. Last night got late and sleep became more of a priority. On the upside, I can now tell you that my cookies actually turned out pretty good! They’re better today than they were fresh…which works out well since they’re only fresh for a very short time. I know you guys were on the edge of your seats. You can rest easy now.

Logan woke up at 6:45, nursed for half an hour, and then played with my eyelashes and eyebrows for about twenty minutes. Then he fell asleep. He absolutely loves playing with my eyelashes. I have no clue why or how he even picked out my eyelashes over everything else on my face. But it’s sweet and cute. I can’t for the life of me figure out what I used to talk about before Logan was born. My dogs?

My sister graduates from basic training next week. A bunch of family will be there, and we’re excited to all be together. A nice four-hour drive with a 9 month old should be fun. Hah! But we’re driving in the evening, so hopefully he’ll sleep as much as possible. He’s going to have a blast being around family and getting a lot of attention. He loves attention. You should see him in a restaurant—he tries to stare people down until they look at him. He’s a goof. J (There I go again! I can’t even go one paragraph without circling back to Logan. Goodness gracious.) My other sister visited us this past weekend. It was so wonderful having her here. We've tried to convince her to transfer to Baylor and live with us, but she's a bit resistant to the idea. I haven't given up all hope though. Logan and I are very persuasive. ;) 

You know how I said one-hour naps are few and far between? Well Logan has now been sleeping for an hour and fifteen minutes. Sometimes BIG miracles happen just when you've given up on them. [And he just woke up. Hah. Never speak (or type) your miracles out loud.]

PiYo, a TV, and Mommy-Fails

It's only 8:46 and I'm exhausted. I would go to sleep, but this is my main "do whatever I want" time. Logan is sleeping. The dogs are sleeping. Travis is at work. I've already cleaned the floor and the kitchen. Laundry can wait till tomorrow. (If I started the laundry now, I'd have to stay up at least till it's finished washing. And I don't like putting time restraints on myself like that.) It's so peaceful. 

Less than a week ago, I up and decided that I was tired of my post-baby belly. I may have lost the pregnancy weight, but there's no denying that a baby once lived in my midsection. I can deal with the stretch marks. Mostly because I don't have a choice. But I know there's something I could do about the extra jiggle in my middle. SO, I joined a PiYo class. And I have only one word to say about it: ouch. My entire lower half feels like a car ran over me. [Disclaimer: I don't actually know what that feels like. It's probably a lot worse than what I'm feeling now. Sometimes I dramatize things.] But the thing about starting a new workout (or any workout, in my case) is that once you start, you really have to keep going if you want the soreness to go away. And oh boy yes I do. So I've gone twice. It's been painful twice. But I'm going to power through. Whether my midsection tones up a bit or not, at least I'll be able to touch my toes by the end of the class. [I better be able to touch my toes by the end of the class.] I had to buy a sports bra. I never truly appreciated my bra-buying life before. They make you pay more for bigger sizes. And when you've gone up a couple cup sizes, you can't just buy the cheap sports bras at Walmart. The ones in a two-pack. No no. You have to buy fancy ones. That cost a ton of money. Because if you don't, you can't jump. Or move in any vigorous fashion whatsoever. Sigh. 

We bought a TV. We're no longer that strange couple without a TV. When we lived in our rental house last year, the maintenance people would come by occasionally, and one of the first things they noticed was our lack of a TV. And now we've caved. Hah. But it's nice. :) And once we get the DVD player hooked up, I can watch some Gilmore Girls. It's been far too long. Tomorrow, Travis is going to put the TV on the wall 'cause we're fancy like that. 

We came up with a sleeping solution for the little guy. A few nights ago, I woke up to Travis lunging across me and Logan screaming. I couldn't find Logan in the bed, so I screamed... only to realize that Travis was already picking him up off the floor. He'd crawled off the bed. My heart was pounding. I desperately reached for my baby boy to comfort nurse him--all the while crying my eyes out--until he was calm. Travis checked him for any signs of broken bones or a head injury, while I frantically searched online for what to check if your baby falls off the bed. He was fine. He had a little bump above his eyebrow, and was smiling and climbing all over his daddy within a few minutes. But I felt like the absolute worst mother in the world. I had fallen asleep nursing him on the opposite side of the bed--Travis's side. And even though I had a big body pillow blocking my side of the bed, he'd crawled right over it. I slept the rest of the night only on my side of the bed, simply leaning over a bit more if he needed to nurse on my other side. Needless to say, our co-sleeping arrangement was no longer the best option. I tried cry-it-out again the next night to no avail. I tried moving him to the crib after he was asleep--he just woke up screaming immediately. Finally, I turned to my trusty friend: Google. I read a few co-sleeping mommy blogs for some advice. It turns out that true blue dedicated co-sleepers will go as far as to put their mattress straight on the floor to prevent falls. I'm not a dedicated co-sleeper. I'm a co-sleeper by necessity. [Though I will admit that I've grown quite accustomed to sleeping with my little man and don't hate it as much as I once thought I did.] The mommy blog suggestion I liked best (though obviously not from a dedicated co-sleeper) was to put the baby on their own mattress on the floor. So we did! We moved his crib mattress to the floor, against one of the walls in our room. He sleeps! It's amazing! I can still nurse him to sleep without having to move him, and he won't get hurt if he rolls or crawls off. (We put pillows around the edges to ease the transition.) He's crawled off a couple times now with no problem. The only [recently discovered] problem is that if he wakes up quietly from his naps and crawls to the bedroom door before I hear him, I can't get in the room because he's pulled himself up against the door. It takes a little while to slowly inch in the door open so I don't knock him over. But other than that, it's wonderful! Yay for helpful mommy blogs! :) And bigger yay for no more crawling off the bed!! 

Owning dogs is expensive. Possibly more expensive than a baby. Though I'm sure the baby will start costing us more eventually. For now, these two fur babies are money drainers. Hah. Between food and the vet and baths and heartworm prevention... these guys are crazy expensive. Although I will admit that the "baths" part is an optional expense. It comes from my complete refusal to bathe them--they're really strong!--and Travis's distaste for bathing them in the winter. We [and when I say "we" I really mean "Travis"] bathe them outside with the hose because Sabre has some kind of claustrophobia fit if he has to get a bath in the bathtub. He handles it like a champ...well, like a whiney, difficult champ--if it's outside. Tatum doesn't necessarily like her baths either, but she's not the problem child. So, in the winter, we prefer to have them bathed elsewhere. The water from the hose, despite this being Texas, is still pretty cold. I'm telling you this because they need baths. Our usual groomer is all booked up this week. I better call and make an appointment for next week. I was hoping they'd be bathed before then, but it's not looking likely, folks. 

Logan's newest interests are: 1. Trying to climb out the doggie door. This morning he got about halfway out. Travis encourages his endeavors. 2. Pulling himself up on the dog's food bowl container and grabbing handfuls of dog food. He smiles really big when I tell him "No!" and peel his fingers back to get rid of his fistfuls of kibble and wash his hands. I'm really starting to think he thinks he's a dog.

my living room smells so good

The baby is sleeping. Probably for about two more minutes now that I'm actually trying to do something. We're going on two days in a row of only two naps! While it may seem like more naps is better, it's not. I mean, if my child was an easy napper and stayed asleep, it might be nice. But when I have to lie down with him for half an hour to get him to sleep only to have him wake up twenty minutes after I left, it's not worth it. However, this two naps a day thing is rockin' my socks off. He's already been asleep for over an hour! That was wishful thinking mere days ago. And tonight I'm going to be strong. I'm going to resist his cute little sleeping face snuggled up next to me... and I'm going to move him to his own crib. He will probably wake up. And I will simply do everything I can to get him back asleep... in his crib. Whether he'll sleep in the crib all night long has yet to be determined. But he'll at least start there. I waver in my determination much more when it's the middle of the night and I'm not fully awake. [Two minutes! Told ya!]

OK, so now that I'm writing this with an awake baby crawling around my house, you may want to lower your expectations for coherence and organization and not-repeating-myself. I'll do my best though.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I'm saving my floor-cleaning for tomorrow. Today is the last day the dogs will be going in and out of the doggie door [tracking in dirt and leaves, etc.] for a few days, so I don't see any reason to clean the floor today. It's only going to get worse before the day is over. Logan loves to eat the leaves the dogs track inside. I've offered him a myriad of [mostly] age-appropriate human snacks... but he wants the leaves! I also have a whole mess of lovely toys for him to play with... but he wants plastic bags and power cords. Oh babies.

And here's a concise-ish list of the other things going on in my life:

• My sister is at basic training for the army right now. We finally got her mailing address, so we can now communicate with her. Yay! [Logan's been wearing a lot more camo in honor of his aunt. It's also adorable on him.]
• Last Saturday we bought new furniture. It was delivered this morning. It's leather. Our living room smells gooood!
• The hubs let me buy new throw pillows for the living room. And curtain rods and curtains. He had more restraint than I did and vetoed a few things. Unless I try to wear him down another day. Hah. ;)
• Honey-Garlic Chicken Thighs are cooking in the crockpot! All I have to do is heat up some rice and open a can of green beans. (And heat up the green beans, but that just goes without saying...) I love dinner that involves so little work!
• My wonderful husband made the most amazing Fajitas for dinner the other night. I mean really though. He was worried my expectations were too high... which may have been a good thing, because he really kicked it up a notch. If it weren't for the fact that he has the good job that brings in all the money, I might let him be the stay-at-home-parent. He's already the better cook! But my English degree leaves much to be desired by way of job opportunities. 
• No matter how many times I try to divert Logan away from the hearth [because it's brick and I have horrible visions of his face meeting the brick], he will crawl back to it every. single. time. No toy is more exciting than pulling himself up on the hearth. Joy of joys.
• Sleep training is hard. I absolutely can not do "cry-it-out" for anything in the world. I've tried. [I've only ever lasted about three minutes.] I've failed. I just have to come up with a less heart-wrenching method. For now, we're getting sleep and that's what matters today. 
• We might get a TV. It's in the talks. Hah. 

When Logan gets excited, he starts panting. He also tries to chase [a very slow chase] the dogs around and eat their rawhide bones.