PiYo, a TV, and Mommy-Fails

It's only 8:46 and I'm exhausted. I would go to sleep, but this is my main "do whatever I want" time. Logan is sleeping. The dogs are sleeping. Travis is at work. I've already cleaned the floor and the kitchen. Laundry can wait till tomorrow. (If I started the laundry now, I'd have to stay up at least till it's finished washing. And I don't like putting time restraints on myself like that.) It's so peaceful. 

Less than a week ago, I up and decided that I was tired of my post-baby belly. I may have lost the pregnancy weight, but there's no denying that a baby once lived in my midsection. I can deal with the stretch marks. Mostly because I don't have a choice. But I know there's something I could do about the extra jiggle in my middle. SO, I joined a PiYo class. And I have only one word to say about it: ouch. My entire lower half feels like a car ran over me. [Disclaimer: I don't actually know what that feels like. It's probably a lot worse than what I'm feeling now. Sometimes I dramatize things.] But the thing about starting a new workout (or any workout, in my case) is that once you start, you really have to keep going if you want the soreness to go away. And oh boy yes I do. So I've gone twice. It's been painful twice. But I'm going to power through. Whether my midsection tones up a bit or not, at least I'll be able to touch my toes by the end of the class. [I better be able to touch my toes by the end of the class.] I had to buy a sports bra. I never truly appreciated my bra-buying life before. They make you pay more for bigger sizes. And when you've gone up a couple cup sizes, you can't just buy the cheap sports bras at Walmart. The ones in a two-pack. No no. You have to buy fancy ones. That cost a ton of money. Because if you don't, you can't jump. Or move in any vigorous fashion whatsoever. Sigh. 

We bought a TV. We're no longer that strange couple without a TV. When we lived in our rental house last year, the maintenance people would come by occasionally, and one of the first things they noticed was our lack of a TV. And now we've caved. Hah. But it's nice. :) And once we get the DVD player hooked up, I can watch some Gilmore Girls. It's been far too long. Tomorrow, Travis is going to put the TV on the wall 'cause we're fancy like that. 

We came up with a sleeping solution for the little guy. A few nights ago, I woke up to Travis lunging across me and Logan screaming. I couldn't find Logan in the bed, so I screamed... only to realize that Travis was already picking him up off the floor. He'd crawled off the bed. My heart was pounding. I desperately reached for my baby boy to comfort nurse him--all the while crying my eyes out--until he was calm. Travis checked him for any signs of broken bones or a head injury, while I frantically searched online for what to check if your baby falls off the bed. He was fine. He had a little bump above his eyebrow, and was smiling and climbing all over his daddy within a few minutes. But I felt like the absolute worst mother in the world. I had fallen asleep nursing him on the opposite side of the bed--Travis's side. And even though I had a big body pillow blocking my side of the bed, he'd crawled right over it. I slept the rest of the night only on my side of the bed, simply leaning over a bit more if he needed to nurse on my other side. Needless to say, our co-sleeping arrangement was no longer the best option. I tried cry-it-out again the next night to no avail. I tried moving him to the crib after he was asleep--he just woke up screaming immediately. Finally, I turned to my trusty friend: Google. I read a few co-sleeping mommy blogs for some advice. It turns out that true blue dedicated co-sleepers will go as far as to put their mattress straight on the floor to prevent falls. I'm not a dedicated co-sleeper. I'm a co-sleeper by necessity. [Though I will admit that I've grown quite accustomed to sleeping with my little man and don't hate it as much as I once thought I did.] The mommy blog suggestion I liked best (though obviously not from a dedicated co-sleeper) was to put the baby on their own mattress on the floor. So we did! We moved his crib mattress to the floor, against one of the walls in our room. He sleeps! It's amazing! I can still nurse him to sleep without having to move him, and he won't get hurt if he rolls or crawls off. (We put pillows around the edges to ease the transition.) He's crawled off a couple times now with no problem. The only [recently discovered] problem is that if he wakes up quietly from his naps and crawls to the bedroom door before I hear him, I can't get in the room because he's pulled himself up against the door. It takes a little while to slowly inch in the door open so I don't knock him over. But other than that, it's wonderful! Yay for helpful mommy blogs! :) And bigger yay for no more crawling off the bed!! 

Owning dogs is expensive. Possibly more expensive than a baby. Though I'm sure the baby will start costing us more eventually. For now, these two fur babies are money drainers. Hah. Between food and the vet and baths and heartworm prevention... these guys are crazy expensive. Although I will admit that the "baths" part is an optional expense. It comes from my complete refusal to bathe them--they're really strong!--and Travis's distaste for bathing them in the winter. We [and when I say "we" I really mean "Travis"] bathe them outside with the hose because Sabre has some kind of claustrophobia fit if he has to get a bath in the bathtub. He handles it like a champ...well, like a whiney, difficult champ--if it's outside. Tatum doesn't necessarily like her baths either, but she's not the problem child. So, in the winter, we prefer to have them bathed elsewhere. The water from the hose, despite this being Texas, is still pretty cold. I'm telling you this because they need baths. Our usual groomer is all booked up this week. I better call and make an appointment for next week. I was hoping they'd be bathed before then, but it's not looking likely, folks. 

Logan's newest interests are: 1. Trying to climb out the doggie door. This morning he got about halfway out. Travis encourages his endeavors. 2. Pulling himself up on the dog's food bowl container and grabbing handfuls of dog food. He smiles really big when I tell him "No!" and peel his fingers back to get rid of his fistfuls of kibble and wash his hands. I'm really starting to think he thinks he's a dog.

my living room smells so good

The baby is sleeping. Probably for about two more minutes now that I'm actually trying to do something. We're going on two days in a row of only two naps! While it may seem like more naps is better, it's not. I mean, if my child was an easy napper and stayed asleep, it might be nice. But when I have to lie down with him for half an hour to get him to sleep only to have him wake up twenty minutes after I left, it's not worth it. However, this two naps a day thing is rockin' my socks off. He's already been asleep for over an hour! That was wishful thinking mere days ago. And tonight I'm going to be strong. I'm going to resist his cute little sleeping face snuggled up next to me... and I'm going to move him to his own crib. He will probably wake up. And I will simply do everything I can to get him back asleep... in his crib. Whether he'll sleep in the crib all night long has yet to be determined. But he'll at least start there. I waver in my determination much more when it's the middle of the night and I'm not fully awake. [Two minutes! Told ya!]

OK, so now that I'm writing this with an awake baby crawling around my house, you may want to lower your expectations for coherence and organization and not-repeating-myself. I'll do my best though.

It's supposed to rain tomorrow, so I'm saving my floor-cleaning for tomorrow. Today is the last day the dogs will be going in and out of the doggie door [tracking in dirt and leaves, etc.] for a few days, so I don't see any reason to clean the floor today. It's only going to get worse before the day is over. Logan loves to eat the leaves the dogs track inside. I've offered him a myriad of [mostly] age-appropriate human snacks... but he wants the leaves! I also have a whole mess of lovely toys for him to play with... but he wants plastic bags and power cords. Oh babies.

And here's a concise-ish list of the other things going on in my life:

• My sister is at basic training for the army right now. We finally got her mailing address, so we can now communicate with her. Yay! [Logan's been wearing a lot more camo in honor of his aunt. It's also adorable on him.]
• Last Saturday we bought new furniture. It was delivered this morning. It's leather. Our living room smells gooood!
• The hubs let me buy new throw pillows for the living room. And curtain rods and curtains. He had more restraint than I did and vetoed a few things. Unless I try to wear him down another day. Hah. ;)
• Honey-Garlic Chicken Thighs are cooking in the crockpot! All I have to do is heat up some rice and open a can of green beans. (And heat up the green beans, but that just goes without saying...) I love dinner that involves so little work!
• My wonderful husband made the most amazing Fajitas for dinner the other night. I mean really though. He was worried my expectations were too high... which may have been a good thing, because he really kicked it up a notch. If it weren't for the fact that he has the good job that brings in all the money, I might let him be the stay-at-home-parent. He's already the better cook! But my English degree leaves much to be desired by way of job opportunities. 
• No matter how many times I try to divert Logan away from the hearth [because it's brick and I have horrible visions of his face meeting the brick], he will crawl back to it every. single. time. No toy is more exciting than pulling himself up on the hearth. Joy of joys.
• Sleep training is hard. I absolutely can not do "cry-it-out" for anything in the world. I've tried. [I've only ever lasted about three minutes.] I've failed. I just have to come up with a less heart-wrenching method. For now, we're getting sleep and that's what matters today. 
• We might get a TV. It's in the talks. Hah. 

When Logan gets excited, he starts panting. He also tries to chase [a very slow chase] the dogs around and eat their rawhide bones.

Three Countries, Three States, and Back Home

We were gone for three weeks. And you know what I learned during those three weeks? Traveling is exhausting. And when you have a baby with you? Three weeks is a really. long. time. Don't get me wrong! It went by really fast and was so much fun! (The flights, not the best. But I expected that one.) But babies change so much. When we left Waco, Logan was [mostly] immobile. He liked pulling himself up (but was still a novice at it) and could only kind of crawl backwards. He had no teeth and only a little bit of hair. Oh. And his pants were all a bit long on him. Every single thing I just mentioned has changed. He is an expert at pulling himself up. He crawls forwards very well. He has two teeth (not all the way in, but they're still there) and lots of much-lighter-than-when-he-was-born hair. His pants are the perfect length now. And he's started blowing raspberries. And drinking from his sippy cup [yesterday]. And eating solid foods without gagging at each new texture. How can so much happen in such a short time? We have to get him a bigger carseat too! Crazy growing, changing kid.

But more happened on our trip than the ever-changing Logan. To start with, Indonesia was wonderful. Even though it was the first time I've gone back to Indonesia and didn't think of it as "home," it was still familiar and comfortable, even though so much has changed in the last six and a half years. If possible, it's more crowded and less organized than before. Hah. But it's also wonderful. I had KFC nearly everyday. [At least I tried to.] I didn't get a picture of my KFC, because once I had it in front of me, I had no self-control. Every time. We had KFC for breakfast (chicken strip and scrambled eggs on a tortilla), for lunch & dinner (two pieces of chicken and rice). I wish American KFC could figure out how to make their chicken as good as Indonesian KFC. We also got sate (satay) with sweet soy sauce (I'm not a peanut sauce fan); mie goreng (fried noodles); kue putuh!! (steamed rice flour filled with brown sugar and topped with shredded coconut); roti cane/canai susu (fried bread (?) dipped in sweetened condensed milk); Chinese noodles made by a good friend of ours; and nasi tumpeng (yellow rice shaped into a pyramid surrounded by chicken, eggs, potatoes, and other such sides). We took Logan to the women's prison in Bandung. They loved him! He met new people everyday and seemed to love it! He really liked all the jilbabs (head coverings the Muslim women wear)! They were so brightly colored and had pretty patterns! Hah. He did not, however, like the call to prayer. There are so many mosques that it seemed extra loud and long each time it went off (five times a day)... the worst one being the 4:15 am. Thankfully, he got used to it after the first few days and didn't wake up every night.

I would also like to talk about the wonderful pampering I experienced. One creambath, one full body massage, one 45 minute foot massage, and one 1.5 hr foot reflexology (that also included a back/head/shoulder segment). And I spent $10 or less for each of those things. And then Travis and I got to go out on a date to watch Night at the Museum 3 at the "Velvet Class" theatre. It was a bed, you guys! We got to watch a movie at the theatre on. a. bed. With pillows and a blanket! And food service, if we so pleased. It was the absolute best way to watch a movie. I don't know that I can ever watch a movie in a regular theatre seat ever again. I've been far too spoiled. Oh. And did I mention that it was only $12 for both tickets? For a bed!!

Oh yes. And Logan survived all the plane rides without a single blowout! Yay!

Here are some lovely pictures from our trip:

Nasi Tumpeng! It was so good! (My mom was given the honor of cutting the top off and presenting it to someone. Traditions.)

Logan on Christmas morning! He was as excited about his stocking as the gifts inside.

Logan with Daddy on Christmas morning! He always smiles for pictures with Daddy...

And with Mommy! In case you can't read his shirt, it says, "Gift to the Ladies"... isn't he though? Hah!

This was my dad's first time meeting Logan--his first and only grandchild! It was fun to see them together!

The kue putuh man came by on Christmas day to give me kue putuh! I told him to come back and he only came back once. Sad. But still delicious!

I was really terrible at taking pictures while we were gone. We basically took pictures on Christmas day and the day we left. Pathetic. Hopefully my dad and sisters took more pictures that they'll be happy to share with me. :) After Indonesia, we spent almost a week in Wisconsin with Travis's family. It was freezing! We went from tropical weather to bitterly cold weather in a matter of days. And it's no secret that I prefer the tropical. Hah. But we survived. There was snow. Lots of snow. I was hoping to get a picture of Logan in the snow, but the windchill was often in the -20s, and I didn't feel like torturing my poor baby boy. Or myself. Hah. We'll have to get snow pictures another year. (Unless it snows in Waco this year... which would be pretty crazy, but it can happen.)

Our dogs have been surprisingly mellow since we got home. I think Sabre is sick. If he doesn't start acting like himself soon, I might just have to take him to the vet. He threw up last night and has been lying in his crate most of the day. Tatum hasn't seemed sick, but she's also just sleeping all day. Silly puppies. I can't tell if they're just recovering from all the fun they had while we were gone, or if they don't sleep well when they're not with us. They've done this before after we board them (not the sick part, just the sleepy part), so who knows. But on the positive side, it rained a lot a few days before we got back, so our backyard is a bit muddy. Usually that would be a terrible thing, but with sleepy, lethargic dogs, it's quite manageable.

This post has taken most of the day to write. The joys of a mobile baby. And a baby that will only nap if I nap with him. Sometimes, when he's actually distracted by something and enjoying himself, I avoid eye contact. Because if I look at him, he often decides that he's no longer having fun and we have to find something else to do. Something less calm and more work. Hah.

And it's time for a diaper change. Happy New Year, friends!

I'm never going out with the baby again. [or until tomorrow, at least.]

On those days when you're about to leave the house with the baby [alone, I might add] and you only grab a onesie as you're walking out the door--no pants because you're just sort of planning for the "worst case poop scenario," you're basically asking for it. You're asking for that not-well-planned-for worst case poop scenario to happen while you're at Old Navy. And you know what? It did. Literally as soon as we got there, I had to go straight back to the bathroom to change my precious little boy. But what did he do as soon as I placed him on the changing table? He screamed. And not like, "I hate having my diaper change" crying... it was "I'm dying/in pain/being tortured" screaming. And of course, as soon as I take his pants off, poop is everywhere. Everywhere. [OK, not everywhere. But in the moment it felt like it.] I have to strip him down [more screaming] and somehow get all the poop cleaned up. And guess what? I'm down to about seven wipes. Why? Because this exact same thing happened yesterday at the bank. And I was, as previously stated, ill-prepared for another similar situation. I was miraculously able to conserve my wipe usage and had just enough to clean everything. I put the thank-goodness-I-grabbed-it onesie on him, and put him back in his carseat which resulted in--you guessed it!--more screaming. I quickly and not efficiently at all rinsed his clothes, washed my hands, and picked him back up. Then I proceeded to push a stroller with one hand and hold a very sad baby with the other while trying to find inexpensive short sleeved t-shirts as quickly as humanly possible. I found three t-shirts and two pairs of pants for Logan [because clearly we're lacking those], and hightailed it out of there. We're home. Logan nursed himself to sleep and I'm praying [truly genuinely praying with all my heart] that he will sleep for at least an hour and a half. It was a rough day... and this particular part of it was less than an hour long.

Just for the record, I've rinsed out three poop-covered onesies and pairs of pants since yesterday. My husband, just yesterday morning, said, "He really doesn't have poop explosions that often..." And I officially beg. to. differ. But you guys. We leave for Indonesia on Saturday. We will be traveling for over twenty-four hours straight. It's bad enough imagining that Logan will scream for a good part of our rather long flights. It's something else all together to imagine endless poop explosions on an airplane. Please pray that my sanity will still be in tact by the end of this week. I've imagined so many horrible scenarios for this trip, I don't know that it's good for my health to travel too much with this child. Sigh.

On a side note, I really love being a mom. And I love my son. I just don't like poop. Rather, I don't like cleaning poop off of clothing.

I've packed one bag. It can still hold about fourteen more pounds, but I don't know that we can fit that  much more in the bag. Nor do we have that much more stuff to pack... and still two and a half more suitcases we can fill. This week is kind of dragging on. It's only Tuesday. I really need to not be anticipating this trip anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm beyond excited about visiting my family and my childhood "home" [by "home" I mean country]! And I can't wait to get some amazing Indonesian KFC and roti canai and kue putu. And possibly go to a movie for less than in a movie theater that puts American theaters to shame. [Most Indonesian movie theaters are so incredibly nice. Only a select few American theaters are nice. True story.]

So much for an hour and a half nap. He's awake. But at least he's happy and awake. :) And he's pretty cute. Hah.

You know what sounds incredibly wonderful right now? A big glass of cold water. Ah. Merry Christmas to all!

Learning to Crawl: Not as fun as you may think

Time is absolutely moving at a faster pace than it ever has before. My baby is already six months old. We've been living in this house for almost that same length of time. Thanksgiving is over. We're going to Indonesia in less than a month. [Less than three weeks, actually.] And 2014 is coming to a rapid end. What happened? On January 1st of this year, I felt Logan's little kicks for the very first time. How can that have already been nearly a year ago? It was a big moment for me because after a horrible first trimester, I needed to be reminded that I was carrying a brand new, precious life. I needed to feel the little flutters to help me realize that it was all going to be worth it in the end. And it was worth it. I mean, I saw a picture of Travis and me a year ago, and I'm pretty sure we look a lot older now, but it's been fun. Exhausting. Crazy. Wonderful. I was anticipating so many things this year... it's hard to believe they've [almost] already happened.

On a less serious/contemplative note, we went to our first family football game last Saturday. I was really excited about it up until we hit the game day traffic. And the stairs. And more stairs. Really steep stairs. And the absolutely repulsive smell of beer. (I would apologize to those of you that like beer, but it really truly smells horrible.) People were in our seats, so we had to ask them to move. Logan lasted about an hour before he was exhausted. I took him to the family restroom to nurse him (less for modesty's sake, more because he's so easily distracted and will, therefore, refuse to nurse) and he fell asleep in my arms. The toilet didn't have a seat cover, so I was standing up, holding a rather heavy sleeping child. (Nursing standing up is not as wonderful as you may think either...) And since he fell asleep nursing, I was still completely exposed, with no extra hand to cover up. Plus, I knew it would be infinitely louder outside the bathroom. But once my arms felt like jello, I carefully texted Travis to come help me. Logan woke up as soon as I handed him off. He took a twenty minute nap during halftime. We opted not to park at the stadium for $50, so our cars were two miles away at my sisters' apartment. (They dropped us off before the game...) Long story short, we didn't get home till almost 9:00, and Logan screamed for the last ten minutes of the drive. Sigh. Needless to say, next time we'll pay for parking, we won't climb to the nosebleed section but will, instead, sit at the lovely couches on one of the main floors, and never ever again will we take a six month old baby to a college football game. Of course, I'm not sure there's much of a chance I'll be going to a game again period. Watching football on TV at home is better in nearly every way. Some might disagree, but you're wrong. Hah! ;)

Other than the game (which was still a good experience to have under my belt), our Thanksgiving was lovely. Logan is a hit with the extended family--and he loves to be around lots of people. We're thinking he might be an extroverted baby. Does that change? Could he be an extroverted baby and then an introverted kid/teenager? Who knows. Oh yeah, and I'm just going to put this out there: if your baby doesn't poop for three days while you're on vacation, be prepared for a lot of diaper changes when you finally get home. And stain treatments. Hah.

I no longer babysit. Logan wasn't a big fan of missing his afternoon nap and made sure we all knew it by screaming for the entire 2+ hours I worked each day. I tried leaving really early and just driving around town for thirty minutes so he could fall asleep... but he never would. No nap for Logan made for a stressful afternoon for everyone involved, and an even more stressful evening for me. As much as I wanted to make it work, it was definitely for the best that I stop. He naps every afternoon right around when I would need to leave for work. OR he's still sleeping and I'd have to wake him up. Tatum woke him up today with her way too loud squeals of excitement about playing outside and it was a long hour and a half before he'd go back to sleep. Oh yeah, and this whole "learning to crawl" thing is one cruel joke. Logan falls on his face so many times, I'm thinking of having pillows installed over our floor. Not really. But the face-plants really are hurting my heart. His poor painful cries are a bit more than I can handle. Why didn't anyone tell me that crawling was so heartbreaking at first? Here I thought it was going to be cute and fun and we'd laugh and take videos. All lies. He loves to try to get to Sabre. (Tatum used to be his favorite, but then Sabre let him grab his fur and nose and paw. His love is rather conditional.) He desperately tries to crawl to Sabre... it's precious. I genuinely believe he'll start crawling just to get to that dog.

I have an affinity for passive voice. My apologies to those of you who don't like it. ;)

This Includes My Top Five Baby Items (I know you're dying to know what they are!)

I had a big, elaborate plan to write a lovely blog post while my sweet child slept the morning away. His nap, however, got cut from the hoped-for [at least] one hour into sixteen minutes. Sixteen minutes!! It's because I put him to sleep in the guest bed nursing him... and he nursed for at least thirty minutes before I unlatched him myself. And apparently sleeping without mommy is no fun. On the upside, he woke up calmly, making sweet little noises instead of screaming non-stop. (He only seems to scream if he wakes up in his crib. If he's in a bed, it's all good. Sigh.) Instead, I'm writing this in two minute spurts, moving Logan from one place to another and making sure the dogs don't get anymore dirt on him.

Logan turned five months old over the weekend. It's amazing how many changes occur in just five months! He's still toothless and [mostly] immobile, but for now, that's a good thing. I fear for my sanity (and my desire to continue breastfeeding) once those things change. Anyway, I thought I'd take this time to let you know which baby products have saved me from endless meltdowns. Because... well, why not!
   1. Nose Frida -- I never thought I'd actually use an actual, literal snot-sucker, let alone recommend one. But this thing is awesome! It really gets snot out of poor baby's nose (you can see it! Gross, but encouraging when you need to get snot out...) and you can clean the snot out! It's really great!
   2. Jumperoo -- Apparently there's all sorts of controversy about these things... but I decided not to read about it. Because, quite frankly, there's controversy about EVERYTHING related to babies. We were able to use the Jumperoos at a friend's house and at the church nursery first--so we knew Logan liked it. And we bought one at a consignment shop for $35 instead of a brand new one for nearly $100. It's been great! (He's in it right now, in fact. Jumping away! Though, I will admit, much like anything else, ten minutes is the longest he'll stay in there happily.)
   3. Ergobaby carrier -- It's expensive. It seems ridiculous. But once you try it, and you see how pain-free your back is and how comfortable baby is, suddenly it doesn't seem so crazy. And it's the only way to grocery shop with a baby in tow. Strap him on, and you've opened up both arms to push the cart and grab items. It's wonderful!
   4. Play Mat -- This has been our longest lasting item. (In that Logan hasn't lost interest in it yet...the swing and bumbo are old news.) He grabs the toys hanging down and tries to eat them. When he was smaller he just whacked at them, but it was good for his hand-eye coordination. And it's great to have a place to put him while I make lunch/dinner, go to the bathroom, sit without holding a baby... This is another thing we got at a consignment shop. They run like $50 brand new. Ours was only $18. :)
   5. Primo Eurobath -- It's big. But it has a nice "lounging" side for infants and a "sit up" side for older babies. Logan loves it! It has more support than most other baths (we used a different one for the first couple of months... then he outgrew it and got really irritated when we still tried to use it) and is better for transitioning. In other words, when he's too little for the bathtub but too big for the baby bathtub.

And there you have it. My first five "essential" baby items. Items that, I'm sure, will vary for each and every baby. But oh well.
 
Lately my time is spent putting Logan down for naps, feeding Logan, playing with Logan, putting Logan down for naps, and did I mention putting Logan down for naps? He fights them until he's basically cried himself to sleep. And then he sleeps for the shortest amount of time (see above) and we have to do it all over again in an hour or so. Since becoming a mom, my time has been a bit consumed by my baby boy. I knew I'd take on this new role, but I've found that in the process, I forgot about the other roles I hold. Becoming a mother didn't relieve me of my "wife" role or "homemaker" role (I don't know that I thought of myself as a homemaker, but a lot less cleaning gets done now, so apparently, I was), but I put those on the back burner. I talked to Travis about this the other day, letting him know that despite appearances, I'm working on balancing all my roles instead of focusing on just one. Despite always being a daughter and sister, I never felt those roles took specific effort. They were just always a part of me. Becoming a wife wasn't all that difficult, because it was the only "in the moment" role I had. Sure, I still talked to my parents and sisters and worked full-time, but day in and day out, I was a wife. Now day in and day out, I'm a wife AND a mother. And it's been hard to balance the two. Spending completely focused time with my husband is rare, but it's something I need to try to do more often. I really have to rely on God as I figure this out--because I really have no idea how to balance the two. But He gave me both these jobs, and He's going to help me master them. (And if not master, at least get better.)

I'm losing so much hair, I'm surprised I have any left. My sisters came for this past weekend and babysat Logan so Travis and I could go out on a date. It was sweet and wonderful! Brittany also cleaned the floor, which was almost as wonderful as watching my son. And she made us some banana chocolate chip muffins. I've eaten at least three every day. When she gets married, I hope the man she marries either works out a lot or has a really fast metabolism. ;) [Breastfeeding is my best friend when I want to eat a lot of food.] Travis put new baseboards in our living room/dining room this past weekend. My contribution to the whole project was as "painting assistant" (my official title) a couple weeks ago. [I only helped for an hour. Oops.] Travis did everything else. Measuring, cutting, installing, caulking... he's basically awesome. And the house looks so much better with baseboards! Oh! And transitions! Next project? Hm... fix our really wonky shower head? Not a top priority. I still leak when I nurse Logan. Is that normal? I'm getting really tired of buying nursing pads. And wearing them. I get to put "wife" and "mom" on temporary hold on Thursday morning to go get a manicure! I got a coupon for a free manicure at this local spa and I've only ever gotten a manicure in the states twice--and once was when I was thirteen and the other was for my wedding. So I'm excited. And grateful that the hubs is going to watch the baby. :) I long to make really delicious cake. One of these days I will. And frosting. Someday, guys, someday.

Tomorrow it's going to be cold. We're getting closer and closer to winter. And you know what that means? I need to get Logan some socks.

If I'd written this a few days ago, I would have had a cool title about shaving my legs.

The thirty minutes I had to write this just got cut down to twelve because my precious baby boy decided to wake up. After only an hour of sleep. I love being a mom, I really do. But the constant waking up multiple times every night is wearing me out. I know it's a normal part of motherhood with an infant, but I don't think I ever realized how much I relied on getting a decent number of continuous hours of sleep. You see, I probably get eight hours of sleep at night. But as it turns out, I don't just need eight hours of sleep. I need eight continuous hours of sleep. Or six for that matter! I got six continuous hours of sleep one night a couple weeks ago and it was magical. I felt so rested! But getting three hours, then two, then an hour and a half, then two...it's not the best. I did this way back (hah!) when Logan was first born, but I kind of looked at it like bootcamp. Just power through the first couple of months and then things will improve. And the depressing part is that they did! For about a month, he was sleeping eight+ continuous hours each night! I was on cloud nine. I felt like the most blessed new mom in the world. But then Logan decided it wasn't any fun to sleep so much. And here we are. He still wants to eat every two hours during the day, and will not go back to sleep at night without nursing. In fact, the last couple of days he's hardly been willing to go to sleep for his naps without nursing. And since his "awake period" is only about an hour to an hour and a half, he eats when he wakes up and then wants to eat again to go to sleep. No wonder the silly four-and-a-half month old baby is already moving up to 9-month clothes! (Not all clothes are created equal. He still fits in Carter's six month quite well. [Side note: I love Carter's. Soft, durable, cute. I. Love. Carter's.] But there are a number of other brands that he's even outgrowing the 6-9 month size... My breast milk must be akin to heavy cream.)

[If you thought a new paragraph meant a topic other than my baby, you will be very disappointed.] Logan is over 17.5 lbs., so I'm not sure how much longer I can carry his carseat with him in it. My arm muscles can't grow as fast as he is. (But my arms are getting much stronger! I'm like an awesome arms-only body builder. Except not really.) You know what though? I really really love my baby boy. I may cringe and my heart may stop when I hear him maybe possibly waking up on the monitor, but I still wouldn't trade my days (and nights) with him for anything. [OK, I might trade the nights for some sleep...but that's beside the point.] I'm talking in circles. It's the sleep deprivation. (aka, my official excuse for everything!) Oh yeah, and Logan's new favorite thing to do is grab my face. He especially likes to grab my lips with a death grip that rivals all death grips. It's so painful and he just keeps squeezing tighter until I'm convinced my whole mouth is bleeding. There's never actually been any blood, but boy does it seem like there should have been. He also loves to roll to his tummy. Though sometimes he rolls to his tummy even though he doesn't want to. Then he gets upset and I flip him back over... but we end up in a vicious cycle. Then it's usually nap time.

I really love chicken. I don't know that I need any other meats in my life. Except breakfast sausage. I've been making pancakes and sausage at least once a week because...well, because I love pancakes and sausage. I also love chocolate chip cookies, and we're out of cookie dough. My hair keeps getting more and more straight as the weeks go by. I'm losing hope that my curls will ever come back. It might be time to simply mourn their loss, and move on. It only took me about eighteen years to like my curly hair. Hopefully I'll embrace straight hair a little bit quicker. Sabre pulled a box through his doggy door. He couldn't push it though, so he went out the door, then stuck his head back in and pulled the box through. He's too smart for his own good. Logan loves to watch the dogs walk around. But if they get close to his face to lick him, he starts swatting at them. And he's pulled on Sabre's fur a couple times. Luckily, Sabre doesn't seem to notice. Tatum, on the other hand, runs away if he even reaches for her. And from what I can tell, Logan seems to be more interested in Tatum than Sabre. He must know she's a little more skittish and wants to break her of it.

My eyes are getting itchy, which means it's time to rest them. Maybe next time I won't only write about Logan... but don't hold me to that. I'm not sure I have it in me.