January has already been quite an eventful month. On the first day of the year, I was finally able to feel little baby kicks. It was a very exciting and somewhat emotional experience for me. My overall pregnancy experience has been filled with a lot more "downs" than "ups," so it was a big moment for me to come to terms with the little human life I'm nourishing and protecting inside my body, and how much of a gift and blessing and miracle it really is. There's definitely something about feeling movement that makes everything seem more real and amazing. Travis was able to feel a kick a few days later. He has to be patient, because not all the kicks are strong enough to feel from the outside. But I think he was pretty awed once he felt an actual kick. And even though I was told that the kicking can come and go at first, I have consistently felt kicks all throughout the day (whenever I'm sitting or lying down) everyday since January 1st. We have an active little one! Quite a way to welcome in the new year, huh?
Then on January 10th we had our big ultrasound to make sure baby is healthy and growing properly and, if we so pleased, to find out our baby's gender. Here's what you need to know about me. I have two little sisters. (I use the term "little" despite the fact that they're both in college and are both taller than me...) On one side of my extended family, my grandparents have ten granddaughters and one grandson. On the other side of my family, my grandparents have seven granddaughters and three grandsons. My husband has two sisters. Needless to say, I've been around far more girls than boys. I've really hardly been around any boys. And I feel that with my rather girly girl tendencies (I'm not a tomboy by any stretch of the imagination), having a baby girl would fit quite well. But see, I also know how much God loves to push me out of my comfort zone. He pushed me to go to college in a state where I didn't know anybody at all. He pushed me to explore theatre from behind the scenes instead of having to be onstage. And then, when I got really comfortable being backstage, He pushed me to take on the most time-consuming, enjoyable, challenging role I've ever done. He pushed me to move to another new city after I got married and start all over again. He pushed me to find a job to support my husband through his last two years of college. He pushed me to trust Him when we went for a month without a home or jobs over the summer. He pushed me to my limits when I battled morning sickness for my entire first trimester, as I wondered what I had gotten myself into and whether I could survive this phase of life. And as our ultrasound tech began looking at the little baby growing inside of me, she said, "I think I see a little boy part." And somehow, I wasn't surprised. God's asking me (though I really have no say in the matter) to once again step out of my comfort zone and learn how to raise a little boy. Nearly everything I know about the male species I've learned in the last two and a half years of marriage--and now it's time for me to learn a whole lot more! And even though it still scares me sometimes, I'm also so excited that God has entrusted me with a precious baby boy. It's going to be a crazy ride!
Despite the fact that I got a two hour nap today, I think it's very nearly time for bed. The dogs have already fallen asleep. My eyes are starting to hurt. And I have to pee (which isn't all that unusual).
Like I told your cousin, Catherine, when she decided NOT to have any children (was that after living with you 3 Milam girls???) . . . . or even get married! When you have your own child, you can raise them to your own expectations. You and Travis will need to talk about discipline, boundaries, rules, and so forth so that you will always be on the same page. You won't be getting a two year old . . . but a tiny little newborn. He will know music, family, dogs, and all of the experiences Cassie and Travis Hegle will give him. It's going to be a wonderful journey.
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