A Tiny Heartbeat, A Powerful Sniffer, and A Wonderful Husband

My first trimester of pregnancy is almost over. The end is in sight. Just a couple weeks to go. I'm trying to convince myself to ignore "trimester" weeks and just focus on whether I'm feeling good or not, but it's hard. I've heard these wonderful things about the second trimester. Less sickness, more energy, less exhaustion, feelings of affection for food again! All these things sound wonderful! And what gives me hope is that, despite a few days of rather unfortunate nausea and vomiting, I've had some good days recently. On Saturday, for example, I left the house just before 1:00 pm and basically didn't get home till almost 7:00. Go me! I felt so good on Saturday that we actually went to a movie! And I didn't get sick the entire day. There was a small part of me that wanted to vomit on the ticket-tearing guy at the theatre (well, on his shoes...) because he wouldn't let me take my water bottle inside. I know it's like a widely known rule that movie theatres don't allow outside food or drink... but it was water, Guys. So I really wanted to vomit on his shoes and then look at him tearfully and say, "You see? If I'm vomiting all the time, I need my water to keep me hydrated." Perhaps it was a tad melodramatic, but I'm using pregnancy hormones as an excuse to feel extremely angry that he wasn't going to let me keep my water. Which I did anyway. I just walked away, planned to ask for an empty cup to pour my water into before I realized I could just put the water bottle in my purse. Oh the drama.

Today was another good day. I had an appointment. Short and sweet. We got to hear our baby's heartbeat. My doctor says everything sounds good and baby is very active. Something to look forward to...maybe. I went shopping for some birthday presents. I like shopping in cool weather. There's something about bundling up in warm clothes and going shopping that makes me happy. I always think a nice hot cup of hot chocolate sounds good while walking through stores... but I don't really drink much hot chocolate. So I'm not sure where that idea is coming from.

I have found that pregnancy and dogs don't mix very well. My heightened sense of smell has me hating the dog smell. I never noticed it before, because we keep the dogs pretty clean. But now I have a more powerful sniffer that has me cringing when the dogs come too close to me. And their fur is driving me crazy! It's everywhere! I'm very much looking forward to the holidays simply because we're boarding the dogs and staying in a fur-free home. Ah, the little things in life. Hopefully my aversion to the dogs will pass. Once upon a time, I really loved them, so I know it's possible. And they do seem to love me. And they try to protect me. Just now, for example, Sabre heard something outside. He barked at the front door for a while before running back to the couch and standing right in front of me while continuing to bark. Tatum was sitting in front of me too. I don't know if it's a protective thing or just instinct to stay together when there's a potential threat. But either way, I had a barrier of dogs between me and whatever was outside the front door (which, to be perfectly honest, was probably nothing), so I felt very safe.

My parents arrive in the states on Saturday. We are going to Dallas for the weekend to a.) see them; b.) celebrate my sisters' birthdays; and c.) because I'm extremely excited to stay in a fur-free home for a couple days with delicious homemade food. My wonderful husband, bless his heart, has done absolutely everything around here. Just the other day, as soon as he woke up, he cleaned the house. He washed the dishes, wiped down the counters, swept the floors, vacuumed the carpet, put clean sheets on the bed, and so many other things I can't even think of them all. He makes me lunch everyday, and dinner on the weekends. Needless to say, I'm also looking forward to this weekend because it gives Travis a break. And it brings us a little closer to the morning sickness finish line (we hope and pray!), so I'll finally be able to do some things for myself. And help keep the house clean. And just function like a normal human being.

I bought a gallon of McAlister's sweet tea. And a bag of lemons. You do the math.

The Green Green Glow of Pregnancy

So when you decide to stop taking "the pill," most everything you read and everyone you talk to tells you it can take a little while to get pregnant. People tell you to give it a year before you start wondering if everything's OK with your reproductive organs. Others tell you that since you were taking said pill, it can take your body a little while to get "back to normal." I took all this very wonderful advice and prepared myself for whatever was to come. And even though I told my husband that we shouldn't go off the pill until we were completely ready to have a baby, I didn't actually think we'd get pregnant a month later. I really didn't. But we did. And all I can think at this point is "praise the Lord I didn't get pregnant our first year of marriage!" Or second for that matter. My husband would have thought he married a crazy person. I've learned a few things about early pregnancy (well.. early pregnancy for me, anyway) and they're, well... they're below.

1. When you start throwing up two weeks before you've missed a period, you're in for it. (I mean, I started getting sick so early in this pregnancy that I didn't even think it could be related to pregnancy.) And when you're sick that early, you have lots of time for it to get worse... and worse... and worse. Till you're sick all day, everyday, and you find yourself forgetting what it feels like to be healthy.

2. When you are sick all day everyday from all these extra hormones, sometimes these hormones display themselves in the form of tearful breakdowns about how awful it is to feel so sick all the time, and how you're going to be a terrible mother because you no longer want to be pregnant. Ah, the joys.

3. After throwing up certain foods multiple times, you are no longer able to eat them. Even your favorite foods. Like Indomie.

4. You are exhausted in a way that you've never been exhausted before. You sleep at least 10 hours every night, and feel like napping multiple times throughout the day. And yet, somehow.. you still feel tired.

5. Excessive vomiting can lead to a sore throat. It's grand.

6. You no longer enjoy eating. It's now something you have to do because if you don't, you might get sick. But once you do eat, you still might get sick. Food in general has lost its appeal.

7. When everything feels like it's falling apart and you just want to sleep through the next unknown number of weeks until you feel better, remember this song:
     Lord, prepare me
     To be a sanctuary
     Pure and holy
     Tried and true
     With thanksgiving
     I'll be a living
     Sanctuary
     For You

And strive to do just that. Because even though this has been one of the hardest journeys I've ever started (I've literally only just begun!), I know that God is in control. I prayed before all of this and said, "Lord, I'm not going to pray that I'll get pregnant. I'm praying that I'll get pregnant in YOUR time. And I'll trust that if this happens, it's part of YOUR plan, not mine."

And now that I'm no longer "suffering in silence" (although if you ask my husband I don't think he'll say I've been all that silent...hah!), I'm hoping I can turn my frustrations into comical anecdotes. It's like Sabre peeing in the car. It wasn't a great experience... but it made for a funny story and it helped change my outlook a great deal. And eventually, I hope things will get better and the tone of my pregnancy will be far more positive and fun. :)

On a side note, Skittles needs to get their act together and bring back the lime skittle. This green apple business is absurd.